I was walking to the checkout at Super Wal-mart (the prices can't be beat) and noticed swimsuits on sale. Ugh. It's almost swimsuit season and I gave birth to twins six months ago.Last year at this time I was slowly growing larger, still in the stage where it's inappropriate to ask if I'm pregnant because I looked like I could have went on a burrito bender. I spent the summer large and don't want to do it again because, this time around, I can't wear a sign declaring I had twins in October and everyone should take that into consideration before judging my beach body. Not to mention how uncomfortable it will be to unleash the flab.
I gained 70 pounds while pregnant. Also, when I got pregnant I was a little heavier than normal. So, I'm trying to lose the baby weight first and then work on those extra 10 pounds or so. I've lost 55 pounds so far. My body is also shaped differently and I am carrying most of my weight around my belly and arms.
It's frustrating mostly because I've been on a diet since sixth grade. Slim Fast, Atkins, low calorie, low fat, cleansing, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Subway ... I've tried them all. I know my issue is I eat my emotions so I shouldn't keep junk food in the house. I'm now on the Weight Not diet, along with my husband, which is basically lean meats, veggies, fruits and low on the grains. I weigh my food also. It's a good plan if I stick to it and work out but I'm impatient. I want to lose weight fast! I have a friend's wedding coming up, a bachelorette party for a good friend, and, dear God, my 30th birthday. Pictures, pictures, pictures with me hiding in the background.
Am I expecting too much? I read the April 7 edition of "People" (I'm trying to class it up from my usual "US Weekly") and noticed a page dedicated to "Body After Baby." Jaime King, Fergie, Kate Winslet and Halle Berry are featured looking svelte and amazing 3-5 months after giving birth. I almost threw up in my coffee cup but then remembered the coffee is the only thing keeping me going because I'm not a celebrity. I don't have a nanny, my kids don't even go to daycare. I don't have a professional chef and, like Jaime King, can't afford to use an organic meal-delivery service. I could only nurse for so long until I finally figured nursing twins is insane. I go to the gym or run when I can but don't have a personal trainer and, honestly, when I have free time it's hard to use it working out instead of sleeping or enjoying a cup of coffee alone at Dunkin Donuts (it's the simple things).
Is "People" telling its readers this is the norm? My boys are six months old so, according to People, I should be "flaunting" my "sexy silhouette." I can't help but think this because what else are they telling me? I told my husband but he brushed it off, explaining these women are rich and have personal chefs, nannies and personal trainers because they need to look good for their jobs. Makes sense but doesn't make me feel better, especially since I know he'd enjoy a slimmer, more toned wife.
Here I sit in my living room with my twins tiring of their toys, swings and play centers, looking at me for attention. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a Bloody Mary, a nanny, a mani/pedi, a haircut, a shower and a tray of pastries.
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