I am a stay-at-home mother of six-and-a-half month twins (28-1/2 weeks) and I finally learned there is no weekend. There is no Dana, only Zuul ... there is no weekend, only motherhood.
It's Friday but it doesn't matter because there's no rest in my job. I could have a cocktail, maybe stay up a little later but my sons will wake up at their typical 4:30 to 5 a.m. and might possibly fuss during the night. Might possibly? Lately it's been highly likely.
I'm frustrated every evening because I know I should go to bed early but it's my only time to relax. It's like I'm the rope in a game of tug of war but nobody ever wins.
It's 8:41 p.m. My babies fell asleep at 7 p.m. and one of them just started crying so me thinks it's going to be a long night. I know this doesn't last forever. They are getting older every day but it feels endless.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Six Month Old Fraternal Twin Boys: Getting Out Of The House
My fraternal twin boys turned 28 weeks today and I am beginning to learn how to get out of the house with them in tow. The cruel Jack Frost finally, I hope, went away for another year and springtime is upon us. Green grass, budding flowers, bunnies hopping along and me, people mowing their lawns exactly one minute after I put my boys down for a nap (I'm serious) ... a housebound stay-at-home twin mom itching to get out!
However, how do I stick to the damn schedule? I learn everything the hard way, especially with my boys. So, I now know the importance of a schedule, especially when it comes to sleep. Good naps during the day equals good sleep at night. My boys thrive on consistency and calm.
When they first wake in the morning, if it's a decent time, we do 8 ounce bottles, sitting in their chairs for 30 minutes to digest (and so I can do some things around the house), then they take turns in their play-yard-thingy-ma-bob and rolling around on a blanket on the floor. At the two-hour mark it's nap time. This continues all day until 6 p.m. bathtime. Then it's bottle, Zantac, Tylenol (they are teething like rabid dogs) and some food. We are currently doing one spoonful of oatmeal, a veggie and a fruit three times a day. Then it's lights out campers!
Today I had to take my husband to work (we are currently a one car family) because the boys had a doctor's appointment at 11 a.m. to see about their colds. I figure it's not serious since they don't have fevers and aren't in great distress but it was comforting to know for sure. So, that's two trips in the car into town and back (we live in the boonies). This really did a number on them and when we finally got home from the doctor's appointment, which took almost two hours, they were a mess. Hungry and tired but a tired where they are past the point of somewhat calmly taking a nap yet not at the point of no return.
Thankfully they are napping right now but I can't help but wonder how I can successfully get my big butt (still trying to lose the baby weight) out of the house with A & B in tow while not screwing up the whole day because then they won't sleep as well at night. Also, I am of the school of thought where activities outside of the home should benefit them -- a ride in the stroller to get fresh air ... that's about it because babies at their age don't need to do much else. Sleep, eat, play, repeat.
Yuck. If it's not one thing it's another. Am I right or am I right? I will get the hang of it and then things will change because that's life!
However, how do I stick to the damn schedule? I learn everything the hard way, especially with my boys. So, I now know the importance of a schedule, especially when it comes to sleep. Good naps during the day equals good sleep at night. My boys thrive on consistency and calm.
When they first wake in the morning, if it's a decent time, we do 8 ounce bottles, sitting in their chairs for 30 minutes to digest (and so I can do some things around the house), then they take turns in their play-yard-thingy-ma-bob and rolling around on a blanket on the floor. At the two-hour mark it's nap time. This continues all day until 6 p.m. bathtime. Then it's bottle, Zantac, Tylenol (they are teething like rabid dogs) and some food. We are currently doing one spoonful of oatmeal, a veggie and a fruit three times a day. Then it's lights out campers!
Today I had to take my husband to work (we are currently a one car family) because the boys had a doctor's appointment at 11 a.m. to see about their colds. I figure it's not serious since they don't have fevers and aren't in great distress but it was comforting to know for sure. So, that's two trips in the car into town and back (we live in the boonies). This really did a number on them and when we finally got home from the doctor's appointment, which took almost two hours, they were a mess. Hungry and tired but a tired where they are past the point of somewhat calmly taking a nap yet not at the point of no return.
Thankfully they are napping right now but I can't help but wonder how I can successfully get my big butt (still trying to lose the baby weight) out of the house with A & B in tow while not screwing up the whole day because then they won't sleep as well at night. Also, I am of the school of thought where activities outside of the home should benefit them -- a ride in the stroller to get fresh air ... that's about it because babies at their age don't need to do much else. Sleep, eat, play, repeat.
Yuck. If it's not one thing it's another. Am I right or am I right? I will get the hang of it and then things will change because that's life!
Friday, April 18, 2014
Mother of Fraternal Twins: Random Rant Directed at Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow was recently quoted in an interview discussing movie star parenting vs. normal parenting.
"I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."
Is she kidding? Seriously? How degrading.
Boo hoo, I had to leave my children for two weeks with a nanny while I shot a movie and received mucho dinero in return.
Boo hoo. I had to leave them with a nanny while I had my hair and makeup done to go to a movie premiere and drink wine, eat fancy food and mingle with celebrities.
Boo hoo, I have more than enough money to pay for a chef and personal trainer so I look fabulous.
Boo hoo, I was paid a lot of money to work with Robert Downey Jr. and play his love interest.
Listen GOOP, I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face today, let alone showered. I haven't gotten a haircut for over four months and can't remember the last time I had a manicure or pedicure. Currently my manicure of choice is chewing the skin around my nails because I am beyond stressed.
My pajama bottoms and Old Navy tank top from 1995 are covered in baby spit-up and I just fed two babies pureed green beans, peaches, oatmeal and two bottles at once while watching Dr. Oz's segment on losing weight because I haven't lost the baby weight yet. Both of my children are sick with colds and I'm exhausted having to juggle one crying baby while soothing the other. My lunch consisted of a piece of plain chicken on two frozen waffles because I ran out of bread.
I am a stay-at-home mom who can't afford a nanny or even a babysitter. You are a spoiled celebrity who doesn't feed her children pasta, bread or rice and follows a diet free of gluten, dairy, chicken's eggs and fun. At least I'm still married.
Rant over.
"I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."
Is she kidding? Seriously? How degrading.
Boo hoo, I had to leave my children for two weeks with a nanny while I shot a movie and received mucho dinero in return.
Boo hoo. I had to leave them with a nanny while I had my hair and makeup done to go to a movie premiere and drink wine, eat fancy food and mingle with celebrities.
Boo hoo, I have more than enough money to pay for a chef and personal trainer so I look fabulous.
Boo hoo, I was paid a lot of money to work with Robert Downey Jr. and play his love interest.
Listen GOOP, I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face today, let alone showered. I haven't gotten a haircut for over four months and can't remember the last time I had a manicure or pedicure. Currently my manicure of choice is chewing the skin around my nails because I am beyond stressed.
My pajama bottoms and Old Navy tank top from 1995 are covered in baby spit-up and I just fed two babies pureed green beans, peaches, oatmeal and two bottles at once while watching Dr. Oz's segment on losing weight because I haven't lost the baby weight yet. Both of my children are sick with colds and I'm exhausted having to juggle one crying baby while soothing the other. My lunch consisted of a piece of plain chicken on two frozen waffles because I ran out of bread.
I am a stay-at-home mom who can't afford a nanny or even a babysitter. You are a spoiled celebrity who doesn't feed her children pasta, bread or rice and follows a diet free of gluten, dairy, chicken's eggs and fun. At least I'm still married.
Rant over.
Six Month Old Fraternal Twin Boys: Baby's First Cold, Dealing With Fuss
My fraternal twin boys turned six months last week and it has gotten better. The experienced twin moms were right: they sleep longer at night, interact with you more, and it's not as exhausting. I was beginning to get the hang out if when, wham bam, one of the twins got sick - Baby A. It took one day for Baby B to catch it ... whatever it is - runny nose, congestion, fussiness (a cold? Caused by teething?).
After their six-month wellness checkup, their doctor told me they needed to be checked for anemia. He wasn't concerned and said it was a routine so I figured better safe than sorry. After their morning feeding, I took them to our local diagnostic testing facility and we waited for quite some time. Finally it was our turn and, to my astonishment, it wasn't a finger prick. These boys needed blood drawn. What the heck?!? How much blood is needed to test for anemia and, more importantly, how much blood do these little monsters have?
To make a long story short, they had trouble finding a vein on Baby A so he got pricked twice. Poor little guy was a mess. When we finally got home I fed them what little they would eat and tried to get them to nap but Baby A wasn't having it and that's when I noticed the runny nose. Fast forward to the end of the week and here we sit with both boys sick.
Yesterday was a nightmare - hardly napping (maybe a total of two hours all day in 30-minute increments). They were exhausted but wouldn't go down easily or stay asleep long and wouldn't eat (probably about half what they normally eat). They screamed, thrashed and fussed throughout the afternoon and I lost my shit.
I didn't shake a baby or hurt them but I was beyond frustrated. The tears flowed. They didn't want to be in their cribs, they didn't want me to hold them, they didn't want to be in their chairs or on the floor. The porridge was too hot, too cold and never just right and Goldilocks (me) was deep into that time of the month for her womanly curse. Pregnancy wasn't fun but I sure enjoyed not having my period.
Anyway, my husband came straight home from work instead of hitting the gym and I went for a run to clear my head. He gave me some tough love today about how I need to suck it up and, obviously, we got in a fight. It reminds me of singleton moms who profess they understand the plight of MoMs (Moms of Multiples). I would love for him to spend a full day home alone with them but I have a feeling that will be the day they are perfect angels and the experiment will yield, "What's your problem? This is easy!"
I called my doctor about my sick babies and was informed all I can do is promote sleep, give lots of fluids and keep it calm. Maybe someone will give me a bath, feed me a bottle and tuck me in tonight or at least let me have some time alone.
P.S. As I write this Baby B is upstairs asleep and Baby A is bouncing in his Baby Einstein activity center thing-a-ma-bob and is obviously pooping -- grunting, red face. I can't help but feel embarrassed and decide to go get another coffee so I can give him some privacy!
After their six-month wellness checkup, their doctor told me they needed to be checked for anemia. He wasn't concerned and said it was a routine so I figured better safe than sorry. After their morning feeding, I took them to our local diagnostic testing facility and we waited for quite some time. Finally it was our turn and, to my astonishment, it wasn't a finger prick. These boys needed blood drawn. What the heck?!? How much blood is needed to test for anemia and, more importantly, how much blood do these little monsters have?
To make a long story short, they had trouble finding a vein on Baby A so he got pricked twice. Poor little guy was a mess. When we finally got home I fed them what little they would eat and tried to get them to nap but Baby A wasn't having it and that's when I noticed the runny nose. Fast forward to the end of the week and here we sit with both boys sick.
Yesterday was a nightmare - hardly napping (maybe a total of two hours all day in 30-minute increments). They were exhausted but wouldn't go down easily or stay asleep long and wouldn't eat (probably about half what they normally eat). They screamed, thrashed and fussed throughout the afternoon and I lost my shit.
I didn't shake a baby or hurt them but I was beyond frustrated. The tears flowed. They didn't want to be in their cribs, they didn't want me to hold them, they didn't want to be in their chairs or on the floor. The porridge was too hot, too cold and never just right and Goldilocks (me) was deep into that time of the month for her womanly curse. Pregnancy wasn't fun but I sure enjoyed not having my period.
Anyway, my husband came straight home from work instead of hitting the gym and I went for a run to clear my head. He gave me some tough love today about how I need to suck it up and, obviously, we got in a fight. It reminds me of singleton moms who profess they understand the plight of MoMs (Moms of Multiples). I would love for him to spend a full day home alone with them but I have a feeling that will be the day they are perfect angels and the experiment will yield, "What's your problem? This is easy!"
I called my doctor about my sick babies and was informed all I can do is promote sleep, give lots of fluids and keep it calm. Maybe someone will give me a bath, feed me a bottle and tuck me in tonight or at least let me have some time alone.
P.S. As I write this Baby B is upstairs asleep and Baby A is bouncing in his Baby Einstein activity center thing-a-ma-bob and is obviously pooping -- grunting, red face. I can't help but feel embarrassed and decide to go get another coffee so I can give him some privacy!
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Six Month Old Twin Fraternal Boys: Trying To Lose Baby Weight, Only Accomplished Losing My Mind
I was walking to the checkout at Super Wal-mart (the prices can't be beat) and noticed swimsuits on sale. Ugh. It's almost swimsuit season and I gave birth to twins six months ago.Last year at this time I was slowly growing larger, still in the stage where it's inappropriate to ask if I'm pregnant because I looked like I could have went on a burrito bender. I spent the summer large and don't want to do it again because, this time around, I can't wear a sign declaring I had twins in October and everyone should take that into consideration before judging my beach body. Not to mention how uncomfortable it will be to unleash the flab.
I gained 70 pounds while pregnant. Also, when I got pregnant I was a little heavier than normal. So, I'm trying to lose the baby weight first and then work on those extra 10 pounds or so. I've lost 55 pounds so far. My body is also shaped differently and I am carrying most of my weight around my belly and arms.
It's frustrating mostly because I've been on a diet since sixth grade. Slim Fast, Atkins, low calorie, low fat, cleansing, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Subway ... I've tried them all. I know my issue is I eat my emotions so I shouldn't keep junk food in the house. I'm now on the Weight Not diet, along with my husband, which is basically lean meats, veggies, fruits and low on the grains. I weigh my food also. It's a good plan if I stick to it and work out but I'm impatient. I want to lose weight fast! I have a friend's wedding coming up, a bachelorette party for a good friend, and, dear God, my 30th birthday. Pictures, pictures, pictures with me hiding in the background.
Am I expecting too much? I read the April 7 edition of "People" (I'm trying to class it up from my usual "US Weekly") and noticed a page dedicated to "Body After Baby." Jaime King, Fergie, Kate Winslet and Halle Berry are featured looking svelte and amazing 3-5 months after giving birth. I almost threw up in my coffee cup but then remembered the coffee is the only thing keeping me going because I'm not a celebrity. I don't have a nanny, my kids don't even go to daycare. I don't have a professional chef and, like Jaime King, can't afford to use an organic meal-delivery service. I could only nurse for so long until I finally figured nursing twins is insane. I go to the gym or run when I can but don't have a personal trainer and, honestly, when I have free time it's hard to use it working out instead of sleeping or enjoying a cup of coffee alone at Dunkin Donuts (it's the simple things).
Is "People" telling its readers this is the norm? My boys are six months old so, according to People, I should be "flaunting" my "sexy silhouette." I can't help but think this because what else are they telling me? I told my husband but he brushed it off, explaining these women are rich and have personal chefs, nannies and personal trainers because they need to look good for their jobs. Makes sense but doesn't make me feel better, especially since I know he'd enjoy a slimmer, more toned wife.
Here I sit in my living room with my twins tiring of their toys, swings and play centers, looking at me for attention. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a Bloody Mary, a nanny, a mani/pedi, a haircut, a shower and a tray of pastries.
I gained 70 pounds while pregnant. Also, when I got pregnant I was a little heavier than normal. So, I'm trying to lose the baby weight first and then work on those extra 10 pounds or so. I've lost 55 pounds so far. My body is also shaped differently and I am carrying most of my weight around my belly and arms.
It's frustrating mostly because I've been on a diet since sixth grade. Slim Fast, Atkins, low calorie, low fat, cleansing, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Subway ... I've tried them all. I know my issue is I eat my emotions so I shouldn't keep junk food in the house. I'm now on the Weight Not diet, along with my husband, which is basically lean meats, veggies, fruits and low on the grains. I weigh my food also. It's a good plan if I stick to it and work out but I'm impatient. I want to lose weight fast! I have a friend's wedding coming up, a bachelorette party for a good friend, and, dear God, my 30th birthday. Pictures, pictures, pictures with me hiding in the background.
Am I expecting too much? I read the April 7 edition of "People" (I'm trying to class it up from my usual "US Weekly") and noticed a page dedicated to "Body After Baby." Jaime King, Fergie, Kate Winslet and Halle Berry are featured looking svelte and amazing 3-5 months after giving birth. I almost threw up in my coffee cup but then remembered the coffee is the only thing keeping me going because I'm not a celebrity. I don't have a nanny, my kids don't even go to daycare. I don't have a professional chef and, like Jaime King, can't afford to use an organic meal-delivery service. I could only nurse for so long until I finally figured nursing twins is insane. I go to the gym or run when I can but don't have a personal trainer and, honestly, when I have free time it's hard to use it working out instead of sleeping or enjoying a cup of coffee alone at Dunkin Donuts (it's the simple things).
Is "People" telling its readers this is the norm? My boys are six months old so, according to People, I should be "flaunting" my "sexy silhouette." I can't help but think this because what else are they telling me? I told my husband but he brushed it off, explaining these women are rich and have personal chefs, nannies and personal trainers because they need to look good for their jobs. Makes sense but doesn't make me feel better, especially since I know he'd enjoy a slimmer, more toned wife.
Here I sit in my living room with my twins tiring of their toys, swings and play centers, looking at me for attention. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a Bloody Mary, a nanny, a mani/pedi, a haircut, a shower and a tray of pastries.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Almost Six-Month Old Fraternal Twin Boys: I Still Fear Change
My fraternal twin boys will be 6 months old in five days and I still hate change. You'd think I would have gotten over this about six months ago when my life turned upside down but, alas, I still ain't a fan.
My sons couldn't be more different. Baby B was the colicky cry-baby and Baby A was the I-put-myself-to-sleep angel who only cried when something was definitely wrong. I got used to this, I relied on this, I based my days around this and was beginning to think, "Hey, this isn't that bad." However, now it's upside down.
They were sleeping through the night long enough to take for granted, especially last night when Baby A started crying at midnight. My husband tapped me awake, as I wear ear plugs to drown out his snoring and sleep-talking, saying it was my turn because he consoled him an hour ago. What happened to my angel?
So, I consoled and offered a pacifier and a quick back rub before slipping back into bed. Amid crappy dreams (I never have pleasant dreams featuring dark chocolate dripping off Tom Hardy's chest ... sigh) my husband woke me at 4:30 a.m. to cries from the nursery -- sounds like the title of a mystery novel. He informed me he'd been up most of the night - not sure why he didn't wake me for our usual take-turn night parenting. Both boys ate as Baby A woke up Baby B with his screaming.
Who's this baby and what happened to my good boy?
This change may seem simple but these boys are my world as I am a stay-at-home mom. I'm their main caretaker and ... well ... this made me depressed. What if they get sick or start fussing and I need to figure out what's wrong? What if something is wrong and I mistake it for simply being fussy? What if? What if? What if? What if?
Finally today, after feeding Baby A and watching him fall asleep in my arms, I thought, "You know what?! There's nothing I can do so I need to embrace the chaos. Embrace the change." There's nothing else I can do except try my best, know my limitations, remember I'm not supermom because there is no supermom and these boys need me. Also, remember to breathe!
My sons couldn't be more different. Baby B was the colicky cry-baby and Baby A was the I-put-myself-to-sleep angel who only cried when something was definitely wrong. I got used to this, I relied on this, I based my days around this and was beginning to think, "Hey, this isn't that bad." However, now it's upside down.
They were sleeping through the night long enough to take for granted, especially last night when Baby A started crying at midnight. My husband tapped me awake, as I wear ear plugs to drown out his snoring and sleep-talking, saying it was my turn because he consoled him an hour ago. What happened to my angel?
So, I consoled and offered a pacifier and a quick back rub before slipping back into bed. Amid crappy dreams (I never have pleasant dreams featuring dark chocolate dripping off Tom Hardy's chest ... sigh) my husband woke me at 4:30 a.m. to cries from the nursery -- sounds like the title of a mystery novel. He informed me he'd been up most of the night - not sure why he didn't wake me for our usual take-turn night parenting. Both boys ate as Baby A woke up Baby B with his screaming.
Who's this baby and what happened to my good boy?
This change may seem simple but these boys are my world as I am a stay-at-home mom. I'm their main caretaker and ... well ... this made me depressed. What if they get sick or start fussing and I need to figure out what's wrong? What if something is wrong and I mistake it for simply being fussy? What if? What if? What if? What if?
Finally today, after feeding Baby A and watching him fall asleep in my arms, I thought, "You know what?! There's nothing I can do so I need to embrace the chaos. Embrace the change." There's nothing else I can do except try my best, know my limitations, remember I'm not supermom because there is no supermom and these boys need me. Also, remember to breathe!
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