I haven't written a blog post since my fraternal twin boys were five weeks old because, frankly, I haven't had time and when the stars align and I find myself with free time I usually take it to breathe. In, out, in, out.
Those stars don't usually align.
My boys are a few days over two months old and the chaos continues. Sometimes I faintly believe I know what I'm doing but most of the time I'm freaked out because I don't know what I'm doing and raising twins is unpredictable. Acid reflux, gas, burping, spit-up, crying jags, colic, dirty diapers, cooing, confused smiles and wet onesies. This is my life.
I'm struggling with post partum depression. My weapons are Zoloft, therapy sessions and walks with the boys. Am I winning? Who knows.
We switched from soy formula to Similiac Sensitive after switching from Enfamil to soy -- the soy caused the stinkiest gas ever found on planet Earth. One of my sons (I have children! Eeek!) is doing OK, the other is still spitting up even with the introduction of rice cereal. We went from liquid Zantac to Prevacid in the pill form. One son is taking half a pill once a day, the other is taking half a pill twice a day. This son will also be going to a specialist soon for colic, congestion (he's been nasally congested for over a month) and spitting up. He's gaining weight so I'm not concerned but he sure does cry a lot which, at his age, means there is something wrong.
Babies are supposed to cry but when my babies cry and I can't immediately soothe them I take it as an insult to myself as a mother. Shouldn't I be able to soothe my baby? Shouldn't I be able to tell the difference with their cries?
We've been living with my in-laws for over a month for extra help. Thank God for them but living with your in-laws while everyone is somewhat sleep deprived is a recipe for disaster. Hopefully we can figure out how to handle these babies by ourselves so we can go home -- possibly around the time they turn 3 months old. It has been told to us that 3 months is an important age, when they become much better manageable. I'm not holding my breath but wouldn't it be nice!
