I am a stay-at-home mother of twin fraternal boys and am attempting to transition from purees. Ugh.
Before having them I wasn't a take-charge woman. When my husband and I did marriage counseling years ago (we were married in the Episcopal Church and it's mandatory before the big day) we took personality tests and the minister laughed at the results. He said I was extremely introverted and my husband was introverted so he was worried we'd never leave the house! Don't worry, we leave but we also enjoy our alone time.
My babies helped me become a better person and grow up. I learned so much about myself over the past 11 months and was forced to change my personality. Instead of being a "whatever you want to do honey" person, I have opinions! It took a bit for my husband to come to terms with this change but he's proud of me. Honestly, I'm not completely different, just a little more self-assertive but still unsure of myself.
With twins you have no time to dawdle. Time waits for no one and neither do twin boys. Not surprisingly, I am in the midst of more change as I near their first birthday. The great big milk transition. No more formula ladies and gentleman.
It sounded so dreamy, especially in the first few months. A life without formula. No more mixing, no more added rice cereal, no more giant grocery bill (although if you think about it ... organic milk ain't cheap with two kids). Now it's on the horizon, it's kind of scary. Their diet needs to consist of real food? Yikes. To further complicate matters, I recently got free samples of toddler formula in the mail. What the hell is this? More formula? So there's also the great toddler formula debate - do you or do you not? Does it help them grow or is this a way for them to milk more money out of my wallet with hype words like DHA.
Purees are so easy. I buy Gerber ... they're fine for the convenience. However, pretty soon I will be needing to buy fresh fruit and produce and serve it to my babies in a form they'll eat with their own hands! Yikes! Right now outside of purees they have cut up banana and cheese once a day, and yogurt, cheerios and rice crackers three times a day. It's just so easy when someone has already pureed the food for you. Also Baby B has recently learned a few new tricks, namely spitting food in my face and also spitting out food (usually the pureed meats) onto his hands and then running his hands through his hair. Geez, what do you do when you totally introduce food? Hose them down out back? Run them through the dishwasher? (Please don't call Child Protective Services. I would never do that ... although one time Baby B had an enormous blowout and I briefly thought about hosing him down).
Anyway, their pediatrician gave me a chart to follow with amounts of formula/breastmilk, cereal, vegetables, fruit, meat and grains they need each month from birth to 12 months - I follow this religiously (a nice way to say I have OCD). I also follow Dr. Sears, a pediatrician and author/co-author of more than 30 parenting books. In "The Baby Book," he lists starter foods and foods acceptable for each stage - i.e. 6-9 months, 9 to 12 months, 12-18 and so on. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well I'm uneasy and, frankly, stressing.
Maybe it's because Baby A had reflux issues out of the blue recently, especially when I didn't think reflux got worse at 9 months after being very manageable. I still tiptoe around the house after bedtime and wait for his cries or my husband to wake me up in the middle of the night because he's crying. So, I worry we may (or may not) have him under control and if I change their food then we will be back at square one.
Also I am a member of a twins group online and some of those women make me feel like my head will explode. The people who think their child has a food allergy when they eat something and don't like it or have trouble digesting food when a newborn. I learned the hard way the inside of babies bodies, namely the digestive system, is still maturing and it doesn't mean they are allergic to milk or your breastmilk is tainted because you had cauliflower for dinner. They were in your body for nine months getting exactly what they needed and now you are shoving milk and rice cereal down their throats. So just breathe.
It's also hard because a lot of mothering is instinctual. They are at the age where they can have mashed foods instead of purees but it depends on whether they are ready. Are they ready? I think so but then maybe they aren't or but maybe they are but then ... Being with them every day, putting them down for every nap, feeding them every meal, kissing every boo-boo, well it makes things seem longer than they are, it makes things seem almost endless but not endless. I have been doing the same schedule for so long that it's almost weird to change things up. Will the Earth stop spinning if they don't follow the schedule? Sometimes I feel it will.
Up in the morning, bottle with three scoops oatmeal/rice cereal, three scoops formula. Digest in activity chairs. Play in playyard until they have been awake for two hours then breakfast. Morning is cutup banana and cheese, handful Cheerios and rice cakes, six spoonfuls oatmeal, eight vegetable, six fruit, three meat and five yogurt. Sit in activity chair. Nap time. Wake up. Bottle, sit in activity chair. Play in playyard until the last one who woke from his nap has been awake for two hours. Lunch. Cheerios and rice cakes, same amount of everything else. Sit in activity chairs. Nap. Wake up. Bottle. If weather is nice go for a walk, if not play in playyard. Dinner, same as lunch. Bathtime then bottle. Sit in activity chair and read books. Goodnight.
I told this to my husband one day and he said, "No wonder you can't fall asleep at night."
Also my organic-loving sisters tell me babies don't need solids until 12 months so ... I guess for the past almost six months I've screwed their lives up! So many different opinions because every baby is so different. Very frustrating! Also, if I ask my husband he answers like he's just waiting for whatever I want to do because I'm in charge. I'm in charge? Why on Earth would anyone allow that?!
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
11 Month Old Fraternal Twin Boys: Reflux Rears Its Ugly Head
I haven't posted in over a month. I am a stay-at-home mom of 11-month-old fraternal twin boys. At the end of the day, I don't feel like blogging about my feelings so I have been a lazy writer lately. I've been dealing with some anxiety lately (my Melatonin, Valerian Root and Calms Forte cocktails no longer put me to sleep) so maybe this blog thing will help me relax.
Baby A has been having reflux issues since late July. Well, he's had silent reflux issues his entire, short life. As a newborn he would make a sour face when the acid came up, his brother would just constantly spit up like Niagara Falls. I've had them on Zantac for a long, long time (switching briefly to Prevacid but going back to Zantac after our insurance would not fork up the dough - it was over $500 a month). So, it was odd when he started having difficulty at night because he's never had difficulty.
I would never tell Baby B this but, honestly, if I had a singleton instead of twins and it was Baby A ... well ... I would be Michelle Duggar (minus the reality show and religion) because he is an easy baby. He only fusses when something is wrong, which isn't often, he eats well, burps well and entertains himself. He slept through the night at about three months or earlier and is a delight. On the other hand Baby B had colic, doesn't like when I leave the room, just recently stopped spitting up and is often fussy - don't get me wrong, I love the boys equally but the truth is the truth. So, when Baby A started screaming in the middle of the night I knew something was wrong.
I enjoy the saying, "Don't get happy," especially because we got happy. The boys were sleeping through the night ... about 7 p.m. to 6 a.m. or so. It was nice. We got used to it. So when Baby A woke up one night, a couple months ago, screaming, it was a shock, especially since he only cries when he is in pain, which isn't often. We thought it was gas so we tried the bicycle legs thing, we tried all sorts of things that you learn from Google at 1 a.m. The first time he cried for two hours. Then it was every other night or so, sometimes he'd go a week, sometimes two hours, sometimes 30 minutes. One time he did it in the middle of the afternoon after lunch so we assumed he'd been overfed.
Finally I noticed he made a swallowing sound and arched his back. After further research via Google we landed on reflux. We never considered this because during the day, especially during naps, he is fine. Also, we didn't think reflux would get worse over the months, we thought it would get better as they start eating solid-ish food and toddler-ing around. So, over the course of weeks, which felt like months, we tinkered with this and that, took him to the doctor and finally think things are OK.
I don't believe in absolutes so I don't think it's just reflux. I also believe mothering is a crapshoot. He also didn't want to go back in his bed and had a bit of separation anxiety/night waking going on. So, his doctor upped his dosage of Zantac (we learned as babies gain weight, their dosages typically need to be increased), elevated his bed with a pillow under one side of the mattress (close to 30 degrees), and we have him (and his brother) sit in their activity centers for 20-25 minutes after their last bottle of the day and before bed - I do bottle, breakfast, nap, bottle, lunch, nap, bottle, dinner, bottle, bedtime over the course of 12 hours, basically a bottle every four hours.
Is it a perfect solution? Who knows. I will be the first to admit defeat. You have to try different things and once you think you figured it out something else will change. Cest la vie.
Otherwise Baby A is a tall, skinny drink of water and laughs at everything with a nerdy "Revenge of the Nerds" style cackle.
Let's not forget about his brother. Baby B is a big boy! He's walking like Frankenstein around the play pen and suffers from separation anxiety during the day but is (knock on wood) a good sleeper at night. He doesn't enjoy when I leave the room and needs a lot more attention than his brother. He's a handful when it's just me putting them to bed (especially during bathtime and anytime I need to feed them bottles at the same time). However, he's growing and is a sweet little guy.
Baby A has been having reflux issues since late July. Well, he's had silent reflux issues his entire, short life. As a newborn he would make a sour face when the acid came up, his brother would just constantly spit up like Niagara Falls. I've had them on Zantac for a long, long time (switching briefly to Prevacid but going back to Zantac after our insurance would not fork up the dough - it was over $500 a month). So, it was odd when he started having difficulty at night because he's never had difficulty.
I would never tell Baby B this but, honestly, if I had a singleton instead of twins and it was Baby A ... well ... I would be Michelle Duggar (minus the reality show and religion) because he is an easy baby. He only fusses when something is wrong, which isn't often, he eats well, burps well and entertains himself. He slept through the night at about three months or earlier and is a delight. On the other hand Baby B had colic, doesn't like when I leave the room, just recently stopped spitting up and is often fussy - don't get me wrong, I love the boys equally but the truth is the truth. So, when Baby A started screaming in the middle of the night I knew something was wrong.
I enjoy the saying, "Don't get happy," especially because we got happy. The boys were sleeping through the night ... about 7 p.m. to 6 a.m. or so. It was nice. We got used to it. So when Baby A woke up one night, a couple months ago, screaming, it was a shock, especially since he only cries when he is in pain, which isn't often. We thought it was gas so we tried the bicycle legs thing, we tried all sorts of things that you learn from Google at 1 a.m. The first time he cried for two hours. Then it was every other night or so, sometimes he'd go a week, sometimes two hours, sometimes 30 minutes. One time he did it in the middle of the afternoon after lunch so we assumed he'd been overfed.
Finally I noticed he made a swallowing sound and arched his back. After further research via Google we landed on reflux. We never considered this because during the day, especially during naps, he is fine. Also, we didn't think reflux would get worse over the months, we thought it would get better as they start eating solid-ish food and toddler-ing around. So, over the course of weeks, which felt like months, we tinkered with this and that, took him to the doctor and finally think things are OK.
I don't believe in absolutes so I don't think it's just reflux. I also believe mothering is a crapshoot. He also didn't want to go back in his bed and had a bit of separation anxiety/night waking going on. So, his doctor upped his dosage of Zantac (we learned as babies gain weight, their dosages typically need to be increased), elevated his bed with a pillow under one side of the mattress (close to 30 degrees), and we have him (and his brother) sit in their activity centers for 20-25 minutes after their last bottle of the day and before bed - I do bottle, breakfast, nap, bottle, lunch, nap, bottle, dinner, bottle, bedtime over the course of 12 hours, basically a bottle every four hours.
Is it a perfect solution? Who knows. I will be the first to admit defeat. You have to try different things and once you think you figured it out something else will change. Cest la vie.
Otherwise Baby A is a tall, skinny drink of water and laughs at everything with a nerdy "Revenge of the Nerds" style cackle.
Let's not forget about his brother. Baby B is a big boy! He's walking like Frankenstein around the play pen and suffers from separation anxiety during the day but is (knock on wood) a good sleeper at night. He doesn't enjoy when I leave the room and needs a lot more attention than his brother. He's a handful when it's just me putting them to bed (especially during bathtime and anytime I need to feed them bottles at the same time). However, he's growing and is a sweet little guy.
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