Captain's Log, Stardate March 20, 2013:
I'm eight-and-a-half weeks pregnant with twins and I almost threw up at work yesterday. Classy, I know. It came on suddenly while I was listening to my boss on the phone. Yes, listening. I replied with mumbles in hopes she'd finish our conversation then, when she finally did, quickly leaned over the trash can and drooled.
The vomit did not come so I'm still vomit free, so far.
Turns out my prenatal vitamin was to blame, more or less. I didn't take it yesterday and felt better - not great but not drooling into a plastic 10-gallon wastebasket from Staples. Spoke with the good doctor yesterday and started a new vitamin today and feel OK, relatively speaking.
There's the fatigue, which is steady with random peaks throughout the day. The queasiness, the slowed brain function, the food aversions, the heightened sense of smell.
Pre-pregnancy I ate healthy the majority of the week - eggs/yogurt, fruit and grain for breakfast, snack (usually 150 calories of popcorn), meat, fruit and vegetables for lunch, snack (usually an apple), serving of nuts, and meat, fruit, vegetables for dinner. I was OK with this. Now, I can't stomach my beloved popcorn (can hardly stand the smell as I continue to prepare it for my husband), meats (typically baked chicken or turkey burgers) are tough to get through, most vegetables make me want to barf (except raw carrots). As for crackers and bread, I'm typically good to go. I try to drink a lot of water - was told a gallon a day - but am in love with natural ginger ale made with ginger root. Mmm. Mama like. I have a small one daily.
My pants are tight even though I haven't gained weight (yet), my bra is small, my sense of smell is superhero-like and I've been fantasizing about homemade biscuits, like soft, buttery biscuits, maybe even the cheesy ones from "Red Lobster." I've also fantasized about thick milkshakes, pickles, gooey ice cream, french fries with loads of ketchup, crispy macaroni and cheese, and a huge bowl of ziti with red sauce and Parmesan. My husband is still slim and trim which, hubba hubba, is nice but also frustrating as I verge on the greatest expansion of my life.
I am looking forward to my babymoon - second trimester - and hope the crap I read about women pregnant with multiples having morning sickness throughout the pregnancy is baloney. Eww, baloney, barf.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Ungenetic Twins Factor: Fertility, Multiples, Nosy People
Items to check off pregnancy to-do list:
Tell parents.
Tell siblings.
Tell boss.
Check, check, check but ... I'm only seven-weeks preggers and already ventured into Rude Question Land. I thought I had another month or two at least.
When you're pregnant with twins, it's fun to share the news in two parts. 1) I'm pregnant. (Response) 2) It's twins. (Bigger response). With siblings and parents, it was fun to see their different responses - i.e. a joyful, soothing aww response to screaming with excitement.
As for my boss, I reached this-question-isn't-awkward-but-could-easily-become-awkward-if-I-don't-answer-correctly.
Question: Do twins run in your family?
Hmm. You are fishing to know if I went to a fertility specialist - or not. Maybe I'm sensitive - or I could blame it on the hormones making me want to barf (trash can is less than three feet to my left - Barf: 0, Nausea: 10,000).
So, let's consider this question to be interest since twins are a rarity (although, they are becoming more prevalent because of fertility treatments). When I said no and blamed it on an eccentric grandmother with muddled family history rich in folklore (which is true), my boss continued with, "Did you have fertility treatments?"
Point blank shot in the face. OK, so that's rude. Do I have a rude boss or is this acceptable? I can't blame it on social media (it's easier to be rude online when masked in anonymity) because this was face-to-face. My sister informed me to simply answer, Why do you want to know? This was also a suggestion in "What To Expect ... " This seemed fine but then I figured if I answered that way, my answer would also show that I did have fertility treatment and it's none of your business because of my hostile tone. So, instead I said no and left it at that because it's not her business.
Problem solved, right? Wrong for worriers like me. I've only told a select amount of people about my condition (funny when people refer to it as your condition). So, when I open the floodgates this weekend and beyond (after another hopefully positive ultrasound Friday), are the odds in my favor for increased rudeness? Outside of my family, I personally told five people and one of those people asked a rude question. That's pretty decent odds. Wanna place a bet?
It's funny (not funny haha but funny like you have to laugh so you don't cry you hormonal pregnant woman) because I only thought rude comments would center around how big I get - i.e. Wow, you're huge. You must be due any day (thinking this will occur around the fifth month) or perhaps a slender woman telling me she only gained (insert small amount of weight) during her pregnancies. I wonder if I would have said yes, I did have fertility treatment, if this would have changed my boss's mind about my children. Are they less human because I had IUI? Are they not as special? Am I a bad person?
I can't change rude people but hopefully I can raise two children who know better.
Tell parents.
Tell siblings.
Tell boss.
Check, check, check but ... I'm only seven-weeks preggers and already ventured into Rude Question Land. I thought I had another month or two at least.
When you're pregnant with twins, it's fun to share the news in two parts. 1) I'm pregnant. (Response) 2) It's twins. (Bigger response). With siblings and parents, it was fun to see their different responses - i.e. a joyful, soothing aww response to screaming with excitement.
As for my boss, I reached this-question-isn't-awkward-but-could-easily-become-awkward-if-I-don't-answer-correctly.
Question: Do twins run in your family?
Hmm. You are fishing to know if I went to a fertility specialist - or not. Maybe I'm sensitive - or I could blame it on the hormones making me want to barf (trash can is less than three feet to my left - Barf: 0, Nausea: 10,000).
So, let's consider this question to be interest since twins are a rarity (although, they are becoming more prevalent because of fertility treatments). When I said no and blamed it on an eccentric grandmother with muddled family history rich in folklore (which is true), my boss continued with, "Did you have fertility treatments?"
Point blank shot in the face. OK, so that's rude. Do I have a rude boss or is this acceptable? I can't blame it on social media (it's easier to be rude online when masked in anonymity) because this was face-to-face. My sister informed me to simply answer, Why do you want to know? This was also a suggestion in "What To Expect ... " This seemed fine but then I figured if I answered that way, my answer would also show that I did have fertility treatment and it's none of your business because of my hostile tone. So, instead I said no and left it at that because it's not her business.
Problem solved, right? Wrong for worriers like me. I've only told a select amount of people about my condition (funny when people refer to it as your condition). So, when I open the floodgates this weekend and beyond (after another hopefully positive ultrasound Friday), are the odds in my favor for increased rudeness? Outside of my family, I personally told five people and one of those people asked a rude question. That's pretty decent odds. Wanna place a bet?
It's funny (not funny haha but funny like you have to laugh so you don't cry you hormonal pregnant woman) because I only thought rude comments would center around how big I get - i.e. Wow, you're huge. You must be due any day (thinking this will occur around the fifth month) or perhaps a slender woman telling me she only gained (insert small amount of weight) during her pregnancies. I wonder if I would have said yes, I did have fertility treatment, if this would have changed my boss's mind about my children. Are they less human because I had IUI? Are they not as special? Am I a bad person?
I can't change rude people but hopefully I can raise two children who know better.
Friday, March 8, 2013
How Do I Handle Twins? Pregnancy, first trimester, advice
I went for my first OB ultrasound this morning at six-and-a-half weeks.
To recap, I got pregnant on my first round of IUI (I have poly cystic ovaries) and wasn't sure how many of the three follicles present were fertilized.
It's hard to freak out over something intangible. Three or two or one baby in my belly ... hard to picture. Don't get me wrong, I'm exhausted most of the time even with eight hours of slumber a night, have "morning" sickness (there's nothing morning about the queasy-ness), have food aversions and feel/look as if I've let myself go (except for my killer boobs!) but baby(ies)? It's hard to imagine.
Also, one is scary enough for a first-timer but two or three? Yikes.
My brain eased the tension by not letting me fret until five minutes before the ultrasound. Thanks, you bastard, thinking you know what's best. So, there I sat, nude from the waist down, letting the lovely, papery, toilet paper-like sheet cover me (it'll be a must-have summer fashion staple, promise) with my husband by my side.
Him: Are you scared?
Me: Yeah. Are you?
Him: Yeah.
Deep thoughts with Jack Handy.
My doctor-nurse team ventured in the room and got down to business. Lights off, legs up! No time to collect my thoughts before the nurse traveled into my nether region and the doctor muttered, "So, what do you think about twins?"
Being a smartass out of her element, I responded, "Well it's not my first choice but ... "
"Well you're having twins. Congratulations."
The look on my husband's face was shock in its purest form - think Frito from "Idiocracy." As for me, did I cry? Say something profound, so profound the doctor and nurse will discuss it for years to come or at least around the dinner table tonight? Of course not. I laughed like a rube, looked at my husband, then we both laughed. I was brought back to reality when the nurse muttered, "Do you think you see another one?"
Another one? Whoa cowboy, you better slow your roll. Luckily he didn't think there were three so I went from being scared to having one to being relieved I'm only having two. Everything is relative.
After two weeks to cope with the shock I'm pregnant, here I sit at point A again, shocked, thrilled, overwhelmed, scared with Baby A and Baby B sucking the life out of me - even taking moisture from my skin! I go from rubbing my belly and uttering sweet nothings to my children to remembering this is happening - cue inner freak out - to going about my day and forgetting my life will change.
Twins. Two-for-the-price-of-one, two bundles of joy ... they're fraternal so there's no chance of a Doublemint Gum commercial. Shucks.
There's so much to consider my mind can't focus, that is when it actually allows me to think about my pregnancy.
Huge belly, bad mommy, possible C-section, two of everything, nursing, no sleep, diaper changes, no life, blow outs ... wow.
It's overwhelming.
We haven't shared the news, although hubby is hot to scream it from the rooftops. Tomorrow is D-Day (tell parental units and siblings). We're going to hold off on the rest of the family, as well as friends, because it'll be too much. I'm looking forward to telling my sisters as they have children (no multiples) but, then again, I have a feeling (no, it's not morning sickness) I will get daily calls and e-mails, which tends to make me run for the hills. I'm the type of person with a limit, too much information at once makes my brain turn on a screensaver - or at least hit ignore on my phone. Not much of a people person (family included) but I could use advice.
I could read everything on the Internet but I'd rather not ... it's overwhelming. Last night my husband, who wants a son more than he wants a hot night of passion with Salma Hayek (or it's a close tie), spent 20 minutes searching "How To Find Out You're Having A Boy" and came to the conclusion:
Nobody knows what they're talking about.
BabyCenter seems to have its shit together, although I'd prefer more twins information. I like my "What To Expect When You're Expecting" book. I am interested in finding a good twins online support group as I know zero people who have twins but, other than that, I'm fine. I see my OB/GYN for the first time next month (I'm still with the specialist who knocked me up) and I'm sure he'll be a fountain of knowledge.
The best thing I've done so far is something I read in a parenting magazine I randomly got in the mail last week (how'd those spies know I'm knocked up?) Every night I take five deep breaths through my nose then say to myself: May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be peaceful. Then I repeat that mantra directed toward my unborn children. It helps me focus, at least for 30 seconds.
The best thing I read so far was in "What To Expect" about how it's overwhelming and it will take time before I come to terms with my twin pregnancy. So I'm not a selfish asshole. Good to know.
To recap, I got pregnant on my first round of IUI (I have poly cystic ovaries) and wasn't sure how many of the three follicles present were fertilized.
It's hard to freak out over something intangible. Three or two or one baby in my belly ... hard to picture. Don't get me wrong, I'm exhausted most of the time even with eight hours of slumber a night, have "morning" sickness (there's nothing morning about the queasy-ness), have food aversions and feel/look as if I've let myself go (except for my killer boobs!) but baby(ies)? It's hard to imagine.
Also, one is scary enough for a first-timer but two or three? Yikes.
My brain eased the tension by not letting me fret until five minutes before the ultrasound. Thanks, you bastard, thinking you know what's best. So, there I sat, nude from the waist down, letting the lovely, papery, toilet paper-like sheet cover me (it'll be a must-have summer fashion staple, promise) with my husband by my side.
Him: Are you scared?
Me: Yeah. Are you?
Him: Yeah.
Deep thoughts with Jack Handy.
My doctor-nurse team ventured in the room and got down to business. Lights off, legs up! No time to collect my thoughts before the nurse traveled into my nether region and the doctor muttered, "So, what do you think about twins?"
Being a smartass out of her element, I responded, "Well it's not my first choice but ... "
"Well you're having twins. Congratulations."
The look on my husband's face was shock in its purest form - think Frito from "Idiocracy." As for me, did I cry? Say something profound, so profound the doctor and nurse will discuss it for years to come or at least around the dinner table tonight? Of course not. I laughed like a rube, looked at my husband, then we both laughed. I was brought back to reality when the nurse muttered, "Do you think you see another one?"
Another one? Whoa cowboy, you better slow your roll. Luckily he didn't think there were three so I went from being scared to having one to being relieved I'm only having two. Everything is relative.
After two weeks to cope with the shock I'm pregnant, here I sit at point A again, shocked, thrilled, overwhelmed, scared with Baby A and Baby B sucking the life out of me - even taking moisture from my skin! I go from rubbing my belly and uttering sweet nothings to my children to remembering this is happening - cue inner freak out - to going about my day and forgetting my life will change.
Twins. Two-for-the-price-of-one, two bundles of joy ... they're fraternal so there's no chance of a Doublemint Gum commercial. Shucks.
There's so much to consider my mind can't focus, that is when it actually allows me to think about my pregnancy.
Huge belly, bad mommy, possible C-section, two of everything, nursing, no sleep, diaper changes, no life, blow outs ... wow.
It's overwhelming.
We haven't shared the news, although hubby is hot to scream it from the rooftops. Tomorrow is D-Day (tell parental units and siblings). We're going to hold off on the rest of the family, as well as friends, because it'll be too much. I'm looking forward to telling my sisters as they have children (no multiples) but, then again, I have a feeling (no, it's not morning sickness) I will get daily calls and e-mails, which tends to make me run for the hills. I'm the type of person with a limit, too much information at once makes my brain turn on a screensaver - or at least hit ignore on my phone. Not much of a people person (family included) but I could use advice.
I could read everything on the Internet but I'd rather not ... it's overwhelming. Last night my husband, who wants a son more than he wants a hot night of passion with Salma Hayek (or it's a close tie), spent 20 minutes searching "How To Find Out You're Having A Boy" and came to the conclusion:
Nobody knows what they're talking about.
BabyCenter seems to have its shit together, although I'd prefer more twins information. I like my "What To Expect When You're Expecting" book. I am interested in finding a good twins online support group as I know zero people who have twins but, other than that, I'm fine. I see my OB/GYN for the first time next month (I'm still with the specialist who knocked me up) and I'm sure he'll be a fountain of knowledge.
The best thing I've done so far is something I read in a parenting magazine I randomly got in the mail last week (how'd those spies know I'm knocked up?) Every night I take five deep breaths through my nose then say to myself: May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be peaceful. Then I repeat that mantra directed toward my unborn children. It helps me focus, at least for 30 seconds.
The best thing I read so far was in "What To Expect" about how it's overwhelming and it will take time before I come to terms with my twin pregnancy. So I'm not a selfish asshole. Good to know.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The Miscarriage Factor: When Is It Safe to Plan?
Here I sit, six-and-a-half weeks pregnant and I can't help but think: what if I have a miscarriage?
I researched miscarriage statistics and warning signs online - obsessed much? According to the March of Dimes, 50% of pregnancies result in miscarriage. As for recognized pregnancies, 15% result in miscarriage. More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy. (All this according to webmd).
I began doing the math: I got pregnant after my first round of IUI, which carries a 20% chance of pregnancy, so what's the chance I'll have a miscarriage? Is miscarriage a greater risk for people who had IUI?
I want to jot down baby names, paint a nursery, buy onesies. I want to buy a copy of "Where The Wild Things Are," browse cribs, buy new clothing because I blew the button out on a pair of fat jeans. However, I wonder ... is it too soon?
Worrying over a miscarriage is pointless because it's going to happen whether I worry or not but when is it time to prepare for baby? Perhaps after the 20-month mark, just to be sure. Some say throw caution to the wind and prepare today because those nine months fly by!
Miscarriage, the elephant in the room, is on the minds of many expectant mothers, if not all, and I wonder how they deal. No one is perfect, we all have worries and fears, especially when it comes to mothering. Will I be a good mother? How fat am I going to get? Omg, I'm going to be a mom ... is it too late to run for the hills? How will I go without sleep? Will delivery be painful? What about the what-ifs -- i.e. miscarriage and birth defects?
I researched miscarriage statistics and warning signs online - obsessed much? According to the March of Dimes, 50% of pregnancies result in miscarriage. As for recognized pregnancies, 15% result in miscarriage. More than 80% of miscarriages occur within the first three months of pregnancy. (All this according to webmd).
I began doing the math: I got pregnant after my first round of IUI, which carries a 20% chance of pregnancy, so what's the chance I'll have a miscarriage? Is miscarriage a greater risk for people who had IUI?
I want to jot down baby names, paint a nursery, buy onesies. I want to buy a copy of "Where The Wild Things Are," browse cribs, buy new clothing because I blew the button out on a pair of fat jeans. However, I wonder ... is it too soon?
Worrying over a miscarriage is pointless because it's going to happen whether I worry or not but when is it time to prepare for baby? Perhaps after the 20-month mark, just to be sure. Some say throw caution to the wind and prepare today because those nine months fly by!
Miscarriage, the elephant in the room, is on the minds of many expectant mothers, if not all, and I wonder how they deal. No one is perfect, we all have worries and fears, especially when it comes to mothering. Will I be a good mother? How fat am I going to get? Omg, I'm going to be a mom ... is it too late to run for the hills? How will I go without sleep? Will delivery be painful? What about the what-ifs -- i.e. miscarriage and birth defects?
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