My fraternal twin boys turned 28 weeks today and I am beginning to learn how to get out of the house with them in tow. The cruel Jack Frost finally, I hope, went away for another year and springtime is upon us. Green grass, budding flowers, bunnies hopping along and me, people mowing their lawns exactly one minute after I put my boys down for a nap (I'm serious) ... a housebound stay-at-home twin mom itching to get out!
However, how do I stick to the damn schedule? I learn everything the hard way, especially with my boys. So, I now know the importance of a schedule, especially when it comes to sleep. Good naps during the day equals good sleep at night. My boys thrive on consistency and calm.
When they first wake in the morning, if it's a decent time, we do 8 ounce bottles, sitting in their chairs for 30 minutes to digest (and so I can do some things around the house), then they take turns in their play-yard-thingy-ma-bob and rolling around on a blanket on the floor. At the two-hour mark it's nap time. This continues all day until 6 p.m. bathtime. Then it's bottle, Zantac, Tylenol (they are teething like rabid dogs) and some food. We are currently doing one spoonful of oatmeal, a veggie and a fruit three times a day. Then it's lights out campers!
Today I had to take my husband to work (we are currently a one car family) because the boys had a doctor's appointment at 11 a.m. to see about their colds. I figure it's not serious since they don't have fevers and aren't in great distress but it was comforting to know for sure. So, that's two trips in the car into town and back (we live in the boonies). This really did a number on them and when we finally got home from the doctor's appointment, which took almost two hours, they were a mess. Hungry and tired but a tired where they are past the point of somewhat calmly taking a nap yet not at the point of no return.
Thankfully they are napping right now but I can't help but wonder how I can successfully get my big butt (still trying to lose the baby weight) out of the house with A & B in tow while not screwing up the whole day because then they won't sleep as well at night. Also, I am of the school of thought where activities outside of the home should benefit them -- a ride in the stroller to get fresh air ... that's about it because babies at their age don't need to do much else. Sleep, eat, play, repeat.
Yuck. If it's not one thing it's another. Am I right or am I right? I will get the hang of it and then things will change because that's life!
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Mother of Fraternal Twins: Random Rant Directed at Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow was recently quoted in an interview discussing movie star parenting vs. normal parenting.
"I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."
Is she kidding? Seriously? How degrading.
Boo hoo, I had to leave my children for two weeks with a nanny while I shot a movie and received mucho dinero in return.
Boo hoo. I had to leave them with a nanny while I had my hair and makeup done to go to a movie premiere and drink wine, eat fancy food and mingle with celebrities.
Boo hoo, I have more than enough money to pay for a chef and personal trainer so I look fabulous.
Boo hoo, I was paid a lot of money to work with Robert Downey Jr. and play his love interest.
Listen GOOP, I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face today, let alone showered. I haven't gotten a haircut for over four months and can't remember the last time I had a manicure or pedicure. Currently my manicure of choice is chewing the skin around my nails because I am beyond stressed.
My pajama bottoms and Old Navy tank top from 1995 are covered in baby spit-up and I just fed two babies pureed green beans, peaches, oatmeal and two bottles at once while watching Dr. Oz's segment on losing weight because I haven't lost the baby weight yet. Both of my children are sick with colds and I'm exhausted having to juggle one crying baby while soothing the other. My lunch consisted of a piece of plain chicken on two frozen waffles because I ran out of bread.
I am a stay-at-home mom who can't afford a nanny or even a babysitter. You are a spoiled celebrity who doesn't feed her children pasta, bread or rice and follows a diet free of gluten, dairy, chicken's eggs and fun. At least I'm still married.
Rant over.
"I think it's different when you have an office job, because it's routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening. When you're shooting a movie, they're like, 'We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,' and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it's not like being on set."
Is she kidding? Seriously? How degrading.
Boo hoo, I had to leave my children for two weeks with a nanny while I shot a movie and received mucho dinero in return.
Boo hoo. I had to leave them with a nanny while I had my hair and makeup done to go to a movie premiere and drink wine, eat fancy food and mingle with celebrities.
Boo hoo, I have more than enough money to pay for a chef and personal trainer so I look fabulous.
Boo hoo, I was paid a lot of money to work with Robert Downey Jr. and play his love interest.
Listen GOOP, I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face today, let alone showered. I haven't gotten a haircut for over four months and can't remember the last time I had a manicure or pedicure. Currently my manicure of choice is chewing the skin around my nails because I am beyond stressed.
My pajama bottoms and Old Navy tank top from 1995 are covered in baby spit-up and I just fed two babies pureed green beans, peaches, oatmeal and two bottles at once while watching Dr. Oz's segment on losing weight because I haven't lost the baby weight yet. Both of my children are sick with colds and I'm exhausted having to juggle one crying baby while soothing the other. My lunch consisted of a piece of plain chicken on two frozen waffles because I ran out of bread.
I am a stay-at-home mom who can't afford a nanny or even a babysitter. You are a spoiled celebrity who doesn't feed her children pasta, bread or rice and follows a diet free of gluten, dairy, chicken's eggs and fun. At least I'm still married.
Rant over.
Six Month Old Fraternal Twin Boys: Baby's First Cold, Dealing With Fuss
My fraternal twin boys turned six months last week and it has gotten better. The experienced twin moms were right: they sleep longer at night, interact with you more, and it's not as exhausting. I was beginning to get the hang out if when, wham bam, one of the twins got sick - Baby A. It took one day for Baby B to catch it ... whatever it is - runny nose, congestion, fussiness (a cold? Caused by teething?).
After their six-month wellness checkup, their doctor told me they needed to be checked for anemia. He wasn't concerned and said it was a routine so I figured better safe than sorry. After their morning feeding, I took them to our local diagnostic testing facility and we waited for quite some time. Finally it was our turn and, to my astonishment, it wasn't a finger prick. These boys needed blood drawn. What the heck?!? How much blood is needed to test for anemia and, more importantly, how much blood do these little monsters have?
To make a long story short, they had trouble finding a vein on Baby A so he got pricked twice. Poor little guy was a mess. When we finally got home I fed them what little they would eat and tried to get them to nap but Baby A wasn't having it and that's when I noticed the runny nose. Fast forward to the end of the week and here we sit with both boys sick.
Yesterday was a nightmare - hardly napping (maybe a total of two hours all day in 30-minute increments). They were exhausted but wouldn't go down easily or stay asleep long and wouldn't eat (probably about half what they normally eat). They screamed, thrashed and fussed throughout the afternoon and I lost my shit.
I didn't shake a baby or hurt them but I was beyond frustrated. The tears flowed. They didn't want to be in their cribs, they didn't want me to hold them, they didn't want to be in their chairs or on the floor. The porridge was too hot, too cold and never just right and Goldilocks (me) was deep into that time of the month for her womanly curse. Pregnancy wasn't fun but I sure enjoyed not having my period.
Anyway, my husband came straight home from work instead of hitting the gym and I went for a run to clear my head. He gave me some tough love today about how I need to suck it up and, obviously, we got in a fight. It reminds me of singleton moms who profess they understand the plight of MoMs (Moms of Multiples). I would love for him to spend a full day home alone with them but I have a feeling that will be the day they are perfect angels and the experiment will yield, "What's your problem? This is easy!"
I called my doctor about my sick babies and was informed all I can do is promote sleep, give lots of fluids and keep it calm. Maybe someone will give me a bath, feed me a bottle and tuck me in tonight or at least let me have some time alone.
P.S. As I write this Baby B is upstairs asleep and Baby A is bouncing in his Baby Einstein activity center thing-a-ma-bob and is obviously pooping -- grunting, red face. I can't help but feel embarrassed and decide to go get another coffee so I can give him some privacy!
After their six-month wellness checkup, their doctor told me they needed to be checked for anemia. He wasn't concerned and said it was a routine so I figured better safe than sorry. After their morning feeding, I took them to our local diagnostic testing facility and we waited for quite some time. Finally it was our turn and, to my astonishment, it wasn't a finger prick. These boys needed blood drawn. What the heck?!? How much blood is needed to test for anemia and, more importantly, how much blood do these little monsters have?
To make a long story short, they had trouble finding a vein on Baby A so he got pricked twice. Poor little guy was a mess. When we finally got home I fed them what little they would eat and tried to get them to nap but Baby A wasn't having it and that's when I noticed the runny nose. Fast forward to the end of the week and here we sit with both boys sick.
Yesterday was a nightmare - hardly napping (maybe a total of two hours all day in 30-minute increments). They were exhausted but wouldn't go down easily or stay asleep long and wouldn't eat (probably about half what they normally eat). They screamed, thrashed and fussed throughout the afternoon and I lost my shit.
I didn't shake a baby or hurt them but I was beyond frustrated. The tears flowed. They didn't want to be in their cribs, they didn't want me to hold them, they didn't want to be in their chairs or on the floor. The porridge was too hot, too cold and never just right and Goldilocks (me) was deep into that time of the month for her womanly curse. Pregnancy wasn't fun but I sure enjoyed not having my period.
Anyway, my husband came straight home from work instead of hitting the gym and I went for a run to clear my head. He gave me some tough love today about how I need to suck it up and, obviously, we got in a fight. It reminds me of singleton moms who profess they understand the plight of MoMs (Moms of Multiples). I would love for him to spend a full day home alone with them but I have a feeling that will be the day they are perfect angels and the experiment will yield, "What's your problem? This is easy!"
I called my doctor about my sick babies and was informed all I can do is promote sleep, give lots of fluids and keep it calm. Maybe someone will give me a bath, feed me a bottle and tuck me in tonight or at least let me have some time alone.
P.S. As I write this Baby B is upstairs asleep and Baby A is bouncing in his Baby Einstein activity center thing-a-ma-bob and is obviously pooping -- grunting, red face. I can't help but feel embarrassed and decide to go get another coffee so I can give him some privacy!
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Six Month Old Twin Fraternal Boys: Trying To Lose Baby Weight, Only Accomplished Losing My Mind
I was walking to the checkout at Super Wal-mart (the prices can't be beat) and noticed swimsuits on sale. Ugh. It's almost swimsuit season and I gave birth to twins six months ago.Last year at this time I was slowly growing larger, still in the stage where it's inappropriate to ask if I'm pregnant because I looked like I could have went on a burrito bender. I spent the summer large and don't want to do it again because, this time around, I can't wear a sign declaring I had twins in October and everyone should take that into consideration before judging my beach body. Not to mention how uncomfortable it will be to unleash the flab.
I gained 70 pounds while pregnant. Also, when I got pregnant I was a little heavier than normal. So, I'm trying to lose the baby weight first and then work on those extra 10 pounds or so. I've lost 55 pounds so far. My body is also shaped differently and I am carrying most of my weight around my belly and arms.
It's frustrating mostly because I've been on a diet since sixth grade. Slim Fast, Atkins, low calorie, low fat, cleansing, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Subway ... I've tried them all. I know my issue is I eat my emotions so I shouldn't keep junk food in the house. I'm now on the Weight Not diet, along with my husband, which is basically lean meats, veggies, fruits and low on the grains. I weigh my food also. It's a good plan if I stick to it and work out but I'm impatient. I want to lose weight fast! I have a friend's wedding coming up, a bachelorette party for a good friend, and, dear God, my 30th birthday. Pictures, pictures, pictures with me hiding in the background.
Am I expecting too much? I read the April 7 edition of "People" (I'm trying to class it up from my usual "US Weekly") and noticed a page dedicated to "Body After Baby." Jaime King, Fergie, Kate Winslet and Halle Berry are featured looking svelte and amazing 3-5 months after giving birth. I almost threw up in my coffee cup but then remembered the coffee is the only thing keeping me going because I'm not a celebrity. I don't have a nanny, my kids don't even go to daycare. I don't have a professional chef and, like Jaime King, can't afford to use an organic meal-delivery service. I could only nurse for so long until I finally figured nursing twins is insane. I go to the gym or run when I can but don't have a personal trainer and, honestly, when I have free time it's hard to use it working out instead of sleeping or enjoying a cup of coffee alone at Dunkin Donuts (it's the simple things).
Is "People" telling its readers this is the norm? My boys are six months old so, according to People, I should be "flaunting" my "sexy silhouette." I can't help but think this because what else are they telling me? I told my husband but he brushed it off, explaining these women are rich and have personal chefs, nannies and personal trainers because they need to look good for their jobs. Makes sense but doesn't make me feel better, especially since I know he'd enjoy a slimmer, more toned wife.
Here I sit in my living room with my twins tiring of their toys, swings and play centers, looking at me for attention. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a Bloody Mary, a nanny, a mani/pedi, a haircut, a shower and a tray of pastries.
I gained 70 pounds while pregnant. Also, when I got pregnant I was a little heavier than normal. So, I'm trying to lose the baby weight first and then work on those extra 10 pounds or so. I've lost 55 pounds so far. My body is also shaped differently and I am carrying most of my weight around my belly and arms.
It's frustrating mostly because I've been on a diet since sixth grade. Slim Fast, Atkins, low calorie, low fat, cleansing, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Subway ... I've tried them all. I know my issue is I eat my emotions so I shouldn't keep junk food in the house. I'm now on the Weight Not diet, along with my husband, which is basically lean meats, veggies, fruits and low on the grains. I weigh my food also. It's a good plan if I stick to it and work out but I'm impatient. I want to lose weight fast! I have a friend's wedding coming up, a bachelorette party for a good friend, and, dear God, my 30th birthday. Pictures, pictures, pictures with me hiding in the background.
Am I expecting too much? I read the April 7 edition of "People" (I'm trying to class it up from my usual "US Weekly") and noticed a page dedicated to "Body After Baby." Jaime King, Fergie, Kate Winslet and Halle Berry are featured looking svelte and amazing 3-5 months after giving birth. I almost threw up in my coffee cup but then remembered the coffee is the only thing keeping me going because I'm not a celebrity. I don't have a nanny, my kids don't even go to daycare. I don't have a professional chef and, like Jaime King, can't afford to use an organic meal-delivery service. I could only nurse for so long until I finally figured nursing twins is insane. I go to the gym or run when I can but don't have a personal trainer and, honestly, when I have free time it's hard to use it working out instead of sleeping or enjoying a cup of coffee alone at Dunkin Donuts (it's the simple things).
Is "People" telling its readers this is the norm? My boys are six months old so, according to People, I should be "flaunting" my "sexy silhouette." I can't help but think this because what else are they telling me? I told my husband but he brushed it off, explaining these women are rich and have personal chefs, nannies and personal trainers because they need to look good for their jobs. Makes sense but doesn't make me feel better, especially since I know he'd enjoy a slimmer, more toned wife.
Here I sit in my living room with my twins tiring of their toys, swings and play centers, looking at me for attention. Sigh. What I wouldn't give for a Bloody Mary, a nanny, a mani/pedi, a haircut, a shower and a tray of pastries.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Almost Six-Month Old Fraternal Twin Boys: I Still Fear Change
My fraternal twin boys will be 6 months old in five days and I still hate change. You'd think I would have gotten over this about six months ago when my life turned upside down but, alas, I still ain't a fan.
My sons couldn't be more different. Baby B was the colicky cry-baby and Baby A was the I-put-myself-to-sleep angel who only cried when something was definitely wrong. I got used to this, I relied on this, I based my days around this and was beginning to think, "Hey, this isn't that bad." However, now it's upside down.
They were sleeping through the night long enough to take for granted, especially last night when Baby A started crying at midnight. My husband tapped me awake, as I wear ear plugs to drown out his snoring and sleep-talking, saying it was my turn because he consoled him an hour ago. What happened to my angel?
So, I consoled and offered a pacifier and a quick back rub before slipping back into bed. Amid crappy dreams (I never have pleasant dreams featuring dark chocolate dripping off Tom Hardy's chest ... sigh) my husband woke me at 4:30 a.m. to cries from the nursery -- sounds like the title of a mystery novel. He informed me he'd been up most of the night - not sure why he didn't wake me for our usual take-turn night parenting. Both boys ate as Baby A woke up Baby B with his screaming.
Who's this baby and what happened to my good boy?
This change may seem simple but these boys are my world as I am a stay-at-home mom. I'm their main caretaker and ... well ... this made me depressed. What if they get sick or start fussing and I need to figure out what's wrong? What if something is wrong and I mistake it for simply being fussy? What if? What if? What if? What if?
Finally today, after feeding Baby A and watching him fall asleep in my arms, I thought, "You know what?! There's nothing I can do so I need to embrace the chaos. Embrace the change." There's nothing else I can do except try my best, know my limitations, remember I'm not supermom because there is no supermom and these boys need me. Also, remember to breathe!
My sons couldn't be more different. Baby B was the colicky cry-baby and Baby A was the I-put-myself-to-sleep angel who only cried when something was definitely wrong. I got used to this, I relied on this, I based my days around this and was beginning to think, "Hey, this isn't that bad." However, now it's upside down.
They were sleeping through the night long enough to take for granted, especially last night when Baby A started crying at midnight. My husband tapped me awake, as I wear ear plugs to drown out his snoring and sleep-talking, saying it was my turn because he consoled him an hour ago. What happened to my angel?
So, I consoled and offered a pacifier and a quick back rub before slipping back into bed. Amid crappy dreams (I never have pleasant dreams featuring dark chocolate dripping off Tom Hardy's chest ... sigh) my husband woke me at 4:30 a.m. to cries from the nursery -- sounds like the title of a mystery novel. He informed me he'd been up most of the night - not sure why he didn't wake me for our usual take-turn night parenting. Both boys ate as Baby A woke up Baby B with his screaming.
Who's this baby and what happened to my good boy?
This change may seem simple but these boys are my world as I am a stay-at-home mom. I'm their main caretaker and ... well ... this made me depressed. What if they get sick or start fussing and I need to figure out what's wrong? What if something is wrong and I mistake it for simply being fussy? What if? What if? What if? What if?
Finally today, after feeding Baby A and watching him fall asleep in my arms, I thought, "You know what?! There's nothing I can do so I need to embrace the chaos. Embrace the change." There's nothing else I can do except try my best, know my limitations, remember I'm not supermom because there is no supermom and these boys need me. Also, remember to breathe!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
5-month-old Fraternal Twin Boys: Getting Your Twins To Sleep Through The Night
Last night, I started this post on getting your twins to sleep through the night. Of course, afterwards, one of my boys awoke at 11 p.m. fussing up a storm. It reminded me babies are people: we have bad days, bad dreams and all sorts of things. So, one bad night shouldn't make me give up on the Holy Grail of Sleeping Through The Night!
My post:
If I told you my 5-month-old twins are crawling and can say "Mama," you would be jealous, right? You'd wonder what's wrong with your kid(s). Why is motherhood competitive? Well, don't worry because they can't crawl or talk but my babies can sleep through the night and have for a couple months. No, I don't mean for five hours at a time because that's crap. That's not sleeping through the night to me! That's a tease! My boys typically sleep 7 p.m. to 4 or 5 or even 6 a.m. (with the occasional 2 a.m. if there's a growth spurt afoot). No books were used, no wacky suggestions were explored ... I got to know my babies.
My oldest is typically a good baby so when I see his sleep tell (rubs his eyes) I put him down for a nap. As for his brother, I did wimpy cry-it-out for a couple months, putting him in another room in a pack 'n' play and letting him cry, only comforting him (don't pick your baby up!) every five minutes. It took time and sometimes I really, really wanted to pick up my whiny baby but I'm glad I didn't. I transitioned him to his crib when I thought he was ready and now that's where he naps. Yes, he occasionally fusses but it's usually for five minutes or less. Also, I put them down for a nap at the same time, every time.
From day one there is great concern over sleep. You sleeping, your babies sleeping, getting them to sleep more, getting them to sleep at the same time ... sleep, sleep, sleep. I read articles, blogs, asked friends, please oh please how can I get them to sleep?!? What did I learn? Every baby is different and I need to be patient.
I had my babies via C-section at 3 a.m. in the morning so I started this party with no sleep. Our hospital stay is a blur but then we ventured home and it wasn't that bad. They slept constantly, wanting to eat every 3 hours. Sometimes they woke us up to eat and sometimes we woke them -- I can still hear the sound of the alarm we used. It wasn't so terrible. I got used to this setup and that's when it changed.
They didn't sleep as much. They fussed, they whined and cried and my sleep tally diminished. My hormones dropped and I was a mess. Luckily my in-laws helped so we did Baby Roulette at night for a couple months (felt like a couple years). Baby A most likely wasn't sleeping well during this period because after 3 a.m., sometimes 2, he was trying to poop, grunting loudly. It was funny, annoying and sad all wrapped in one. His brother simply freaked out often and developed colic -- screaming for an hour or so. Every morning my in-laws would ask how my night went and I remember mumbling how I'd gotten an hour of sleep, sometimes two. Four hours of sleep in a row was Heaven on Earth.
It wasn't fun. I spent my days comforting a colicy baby and feeding, feeding, feeding. I felt like a zombie.
Around the three-month mark we (my husband and I) decided to go it solo. Days alone with my boys helped me discover who they are. I followed the saying: Sleep begets sleep. Slowly and surely they slept more during the night. Sorry if some of this is glazed over but, honestly, I blocked out the worst of it because my brain is kind.
My plan: I fill them up during the day, feeding them every three hours: formula with rice cereal (to help with reflux and spitting up) and a small amount of easy-to-digest baby food (check out Dr. Sears for a guide) and oatmeal. I don't let them stay awake more than two hours at a timebecause I find that's good for them right now. When tired Baby A rubs his eyes, Baby B gets fussy.
The hardest part about babies is there's no consistency. I know sooner than later they will change and my schedule, or attempt at a schedule, will change. I used to fear change and I am still not a fan but I need to go with the flow.
Although there's no consistency for me, babies love consistency. If you were in a strange land with strange people where everything was new ... wouldn't you want something to rely on? They are simple creatures so every night at 6 p.m. we do bath time, then a bottle with the lights turned down low and chill music on, then bedtime in their crib. Every single night. I put on their sound machine, which also has a projector, and humidifier and shut the door. They have come to rely on this and that is why they sleep more. It took some time but they've gotten the hang of this.
When I put them down for a nap and Baby B fusses I make myself do wimpy-cry-it-out because he needs to learn he is OK and will feel much better after his nap. Consistency. Every time they cry my or my husband's face is there.
So, get to know your kids and use that to build a consistent feeding and sleep schedule. Every baby is different because that's what makes them wonderful! Unique little creatures you created! Also, I hate this saying (I especially hated it about three months ago) but it gets better! It really does but it gets worse before it gets better.
My post:
If I told you my 5-month-old twins are crawling and can say "Mama," you would be jealous, right? You'd wonder what's wrong with your kid(s). Why is motherhood competitive? Well, don't worry because they can't crawl or talk but my babies can sleep through the night and have for a couple months. No, I don't mean for five hours at a time because that's crap. That's not sleeping through the night to me! That's a tease! My boys typically sleep 7 p.m. to 4 or 5 or even 6 a.m. (with the occasional 2 a.m. if there's a growth spurt afoot). No books were used, no wacky suggestions were explored ... I got to know my babies.
My oldest is typically a good baby so when I see his sleep tell (rubs his eyes) I put him down for a nap. As for his brother, I did wimpy cry-it-out for a couple months, putting him in another room in a pack 'n' play and letting him cry, only comforting him (don't pick your baby up!) every five minutes. It took time and sometimes I really, really wanted to pick up my whiny baby but I'm glad I didn't. I transitioned him to his crib when I thought he was ready and now that's where he naps. Yes, he occasionally fusses but it's usually for five minutes or less. Also, I put them down for a nap at the same time, every time.
From day one there is great concern over sleep. You sleeping, your babies sleeping, getting them to sleep more, getting them to sleep at the same time ... sleep, sleep, sleep. I read articles, blogs, asked friends, please oh please how can I get them to sleep?!? What did I learn? Every baby is different and I need to be patient.
I had my babies via C-section at 3 a.m. in the morning so I started this party with no sleep. Our hospital stay is a blur but then we ventured home and it wasn't that bad. They slept constantly, wanting to eat every 3 hours. Sometimes they woke us up to eat and sometimes we woke them -- I can still hear the sound of the alarm we used. It wasn't so terrible. I got used to this setup and that's when it changed.
They didn't sleep as much. They fussed, they whined and cried and my sleep tally diminished. My hormones dropped and I was a mess. Luckily my in-laws helped so we did Baby Roulette at night for a couple months (felt like a couple years). Baby A most likely wasn't sleeping well during this period because after 3 a.m., sometimes 2, he was trying to poop, grunting loudly. It was funny, annoying and sad all wrapped in one. His brother simply freaked out often and developed colic -- screaming for an hour or so. Every morning my in-laws would ask how my night went and I remember mumbling how I'd gotten an hour of sleep, sometimes two. Four hours of sleep in a row was Heaven on Earth.
It wasn't fun. I spent my days comforting a colicy baby and feeding, feeding, feeding. I felt like a zombie.
Around the three-month mark we (my husband and I) decided to go it solo. Days alone with my boys helped me discover who they are. I followed the saying: Sleep begets sleep. Slowly and surely they slept more during the night. Sorry if some of this is glazed over but, honestly, I blocked out the worst of it because my brain is kind.
My plan: I fill them up during the day, feeding them every three hours: formula with rice cereal (to help with reflux and spitting up) and a small amount of easy-to-digest baby food (check out Dr. Sears for a guide) and oatmeal. I don't let them stay awake more than two hours at a timebecause I find that's good for them right now. When tired Baby A rubs his eyes, Baby B gets fussy.
The hardest part about babies is there's no consistency. I know sooner than later they will change and my schedule, or attempt at a schedule, will change. I used to fear change and I am still not a fan but I need to go with the flow.
Although there's no consistency for me, babies love consistency. If you were in a strange land with strange people where everything was new ... wouldn't you want something to rely on? They are simple creatures so every night at 6 p.m. we do bath time, then a bottle with the lights turned down low and chill music on, then bedtime in their crib. Every single night. I put on their sound machine, which also has a projector, and humidifier and shut the door. They have come to rely on this and that is why they sleep more. It took some time but they've gotten the hang of this.
When I put them down for a nap and Baby B fusses I make myself do wimpy-cry-it-out because he needs to learn he is OK and will feel much better after his nap. Consistency. Every time they cry my or my husband's face is there.
So, get to know your kids and use that to build a consistent feeding and sleep schedule. Every baby is different because that's what makes them wonderful! Unique little creatures you created! Also, I hate this saying (I especially hated it about three months ago) but it gets better! It really does but it gets worse before it gets better.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Reader Question: Baby gear, getting ready for twins
Checked my e-mail and, lo and behold, I got a question! My boys are napping (thank God) so I'll take a crack but ... please remember I'm far from an expert. I'm a stay-at-home mom of 23-week-old fraternal twin boys. Although, they are healthy so maybe I'm doing something right! At four months they were 27 inches and 16 pounds!
I read your blog as I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with identical twin boys. I am attempting to get ready for them and I was wondering if lthere was any sort of baby gear that you wished you'd known about before they got there? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I don't have identicals so you might want to develop a system for telling them apart -- finger nail polish, different colored clothing ... my babies couldn't look more different (envision a pale redhead and an olive skinned brunette). It was hard enough remembering who I fed and who I didn't, I couldn't imagine if they looked the same. My suggestion would be to Google it and find a reputable site, I like Baby Center, and see if you like any suggestions.
Buy a clipboard and look online for a baby feeding chart. At their first checkup the nurse asked how many ounces they eat and how many diapers they go through in a day... I was like, say what!? It makes me feel like their nurse instead of mother but whatta gonna do? I started with one chart but found another I like better. http://www.vertex42.com/exceltemplates/baby-feeding-schedule.html -- I like this one because I can also chart sleeping/napping habits and write comments.
The first item that comes to mind is the Fisher Price Newborn Rock 'N' Play Sleeper. I wish we purchased these sooner because it was awesome -- sadly they outgrew them! It's inclined, which helped with acid reflux and spit-up, and is deep and cushioned, which made them feel cozy. It rocks and vibrates -- almost makes me want one for myself. I don't know how many nights I slept while rocking a baby with my foot. You can comfort your child without going quite as insane as you would have without it -- even my colicky baby liked this contraption!
Babies love routine. Every night we do a bath at 6 p.m. in Fisher Price Whale of A Tub, have a bottle, then they go down for the night with a humidifier running and their sound machine playing white noise. We tried the heartbeat noise but it felt like Edger Allan Poe's "The Telltale Heart." Our sound machine also has a projector with pictures of underwater animals.
We started with Avent bottles -- I think we got some at our baby shower. They were fine but our babies had, and still have, acid reflux and one of them is a mostly-happy spitter and those bottles leaked and sucked. I researched a better bottle and found Dr. Browns. They help keep the air out and have a wide mouthed kind that makes it easier when you put a scoop of formula in while holding a screaming baby with 1% patience. We have 10 bottles and I do a load of dishes every night. Remember, they only need formula/breastmilk and bottles for a year. Just a blip on the radar but the blip feels endless.
My husband's aunt helped for a week when they were small and bought us a Munchkin Deluxe Drying Rack. It's awesome for keeping bottles organized and easily accessible.
Stretchy pants (for them) are awesome for doing quick diaper changes. Whoever invented baby clothes with snaps ... watch your back because I'm coming for you! They are so frustrating.
I had the My Breast Friends Twin Pillow for breastfeeding -- I did it for four weeks (felt like four years). I stopped because my postpartum depression was awful and I needed chemical help. Twice the hormones with twins, twice the drop. Thankfully that only lasted a couple months and I'm chemical free (except wine/bourbon) but I didn't want to risk tainting my milk. If I were still breastfeeding I would solely pump and bottle feed. So much easier. Tandem feeding newborns was insane, especially with one who was, for lack of a better word, aggressive on the boob. For the women who did it, good for you! That's awesome but stop making me feel bad. I couldn't breastfeed longer and that's OK! My children won't have three eyes and I won't go nuts and be found naked, screaming on the freeway.
Also, have a postpartum depression buddy and don't be afraid to ask for help. Sitting around a table with my in-laws (who helped us so much) and husband while talking about my depression was awkward and I felt like a bad mother but it was worth it and they understood.
Velcro swaddle sleepers are awesome. I wish we used them more because I'm not the best swaddler and tiny babies love to be swaddled ... well except for one of my twins. You need to stay organized and have a system down so a Velcro swaddler takes a few steps out of your routine. Much appreciated!
We have two Fisher Price My Little Snuggle Bunny Bouncy Chairs, which are great, especially for feeding at the same time, but now their legs hang off. Recently someone gave us a Deluxe Take-Along-Swing and boy that thing is awesome. It has toys hanging on either side, to hold their attention, and it folds up for easy travel ... like we go anywhere! It has a light/music thingy but they don't seem to like that part because, honestly, it's like a night club ... you know, when we mamas were young and hip enough to party at night outside our house! Now I just want to go to bed. Anyway, it obviously swings and is great.
Cribs ... they slept in their car seats for about month or so before we got Rock 'N' Plays so ... yeah, cribs can wait until the 3-month mark but I recommend convertible toddler beds to save money down the road. We have two Pack 'N' Plays with bassinets and they napped together in there for the first couple months when they actually napped! I now only have one Pack 'N' Play downstairs (I keep the other at my in-laws). I used it to do wimpy-cry-it-out with one of my babies but now he naps in his crib. I figure if I put it away I will need to use it so I keep it up.
I also have a Baby Bjorn and an Ergo Baby but haven't used them much this winter. I have a Contours Options LT Tandem Stroller which is fine ... was having trouble with it today but I need to read the manual to figure out how to adjust the seats.
For most of our baby stuff, if not all, we used Amazon for ratings and customer reviews. Definitely helped our choice.
If you are on Facebook please, oh please, join The Official Group of National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs, Inc. I know a lot of moms with singletons but hardly anyone with twins. Having twins is harder than having a singleton and much different, whether people want to admit it or not, so it was so nice to have a group I could chat with 24/7 for advice, suggestions and support. I think my first post was when the boys were two weeks old: "Please tell me it gets better because I am so lost right now."
I could go on but my best advice is get to know your babies and fly by the seat of your pants. The less the better ... babies are simple and want love, food, a clean diaper and consistency. Don't read too much online because you'll go insane. Every baby is different. I have a child who likes a pacifier, hates boppies, puts himself to sleep (more or less), likes to be down on the floor rolling around, and needs a good burp after a big feed. My other child isn't so keen on pacifiers, loves boppies, had to go through wimpy-cry-it-out, wants to be held, and spits up like a volcano even when he hasn't eaten for a couple hours. Have a sense of humor, remember they are trying to figure out how to be a person, and ... well, it's funny because I used to hate when people told me this, but it gets better. I used to want to give my boys back to ... whoever ... and thought I ruined my life but now I couldn't imagine life without them.
I read your blog as I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with identical twin boys. I am attempting to get ready for them and I was wondering if lthere was any sort of baby gear that you wished you'd known about before they got there? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I don't have identicals so you might want to develop a system for telling them apart -- finger nail polish, different colored clothing ... my babies couldn't look more different (envision a pale redhead and an olive skinned brunette). It was hard enough remembering who I fed and who I didn't, I couldn't imagine if they looked the same. My suggestion would be to Google it and find a reputable site, I like Baby Center, and see if you like any suggestions.
Buy a clipboard and look online for a baby feeding chart. At their first checkup the nurse asked how many ounces they eat and how many diapers they go through in a day... I was like, say what!? It makes me feel like their nurse instead of mother but whatta gonna do? I started with one chart but found another I like better. http://www.vertex42.com/exceltemplates/baby-feeding-schedule.html -- I like this one because I can also chart sleeping/napping habits and write comments.
The first item that comes to mind is the Fisher Price Newborn Rock 'N' Play Sleeper. I wish we purchased these sooner because it was awesome -- sadly they outgrew them! It's inclined, which helped with acid reflux and spit-up, and is deep and cushioned, which made them feel cozy. It rocks and vibrates -- almost makes me want one for myself. I don't know how many nights I slept while rocking a baby with my foot. You can comfort your child without going quite as insane as you would have without it -- even my colicky baby liked this contraption!
Babies love routine. Every night we do a bath at 6 p.m. in Fisher Price Whale of A Tub, have a bottle, then they go down for the night with a humidifier running and their sound machine playing white noise. We tried the heartbeat noise but it felt like Edger Allan Poe's "The Telltale Heart." Our sound machine also has a projector with pictures of underwater animals.
We started with Avent bottles -- I think we got some at our baby shower. They were fine but our babies had, and still have, acid reflux and one of them is a mostly-happy spitter and those bottles leaked and sucked. I researched a better bottle and found Dr. Browns. They help keep the air out and have a wide mouthed kind that makes it easier when you put a scoop of formula in while holding a screaming baby with 1% patience. We have 10 bottles and I do a load of dishes every night. Remember, they only need formula/breastmilk and bottles for a year. Just a blip on the radar but the blip feels endless.
My husband's aunt helped for a week when they were small and bought us a Munchkin Deluxe Drying Rack. It's awesome for keeping bottles organized and easily accessible.
Stretchy pants (for them) are awesome for doing quick diaper changes. Whoever invented baby clothes with snaps ... watch your back because I'm coming for you! They are so frustrating.
I had the My Breast Friends Twin Pillow for breastfeeding -- I did it for four weeks (felt like four years). I stopped because my postpartum depression was awful and I needed chemical help. Twice the hormones with twins, twice the drop. Thankfully that only lasted a couple months and I'm chemical free (except wine/bourbon) but I didn't want to risk tainting my milk. If I were still breastfeeding I would solely pump and bottle feed. So much easier. Tandem feeding newborns was insane, especially with one who was, for lack of a better word, aggressive on the boob. For the women who did it, good for you! That's awesome but stop making me feel bad. I couldn't breastfeed longer and that's OK! My children won't have three eyes and I won't go nuts and be found naked, screaming on the freeway.
Also, have a postpartum depression buddy and don't be afraid to ask for help. Sitting around a table with my in-laws (who helped us so much) and husband while talking about my depression was awkward and I felt like a bad mother but it was worth it and they understood.
Velcro swaddle sleepers are awesome. I wish we used them more because I'm not the best swaddler and tiny babies love to be swaddled ... well except for one of my twins. You need to stay organized and have a system down so a Velcro swaddler takes a few steps out of your routine. Much appreciated!
We have two Fisher Price My Little Snuggle Bunny Bouncy Chairs, which are great, especially for feeding at the same time, but now their legs hang off. Recently someone gave us a Deluxe Take-Along-Swing and boy that thing is awesome. It has toys hanging on either side, to hold their attention, and it folds up for easy travel ... like we go anywhere! It has a light/music thingy but they don't seem to like that part because, honestly, it's like a night club ... you know, when we mamas were young and hip enough to party at night outside our house! Now I just want to go to bed. Anyway, it obviously swings and is great.
Cribs ... they slept in their car seats for about month or so before we got Rock 'N' Plays so ... yeah, cribs can wait until the 3-month mark but I recommend convertible toddler beds to save money down the road. We have two Pack 'N' Plays with bassinets and they napped together in there for the first couple months when they actually napped! I now only have one Pack 'N' Play downstairs (I keep the other at my in-laws). I used it to do wimpy-cry-it-out with one of my babies but now he naps in his crib. I figure if I put it away I will need to use it so I keep it up.
I also have a Baby Bjorn and an Ergo Baby but haven't used them much this winter. I have a Contours Options LT Tandem Stroller which is fine ... was having trouble with it today but I need to read the manual to figure out how to adjust the seats.
For most of our baby stuff, if not all, we used Amazon for ratings and customer reviews. Definitely helped our choice.
If you are on Facebook please, oh please, join The Official Group of National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs, Inc. I know a lot of moms with singletons but hardly anyone with twins. Having twins is harder than having a singleton and much different, whether people want to admit it or not, so it was so nice to have a group I could chat with 24/7 for advice, suggestions and support. I think my first post was when the boys were two weeks old: "Please tell me it gets better because I am so lost right now."
I could go on but my best advice is get to know your babies and fly by the seat of your pants. The less the better ... babies are simple and want love, food, a clean diaper and consistency. Don't read too much online because you'll go insane. Every baby is different. I have a child who likes a pacifier, hates boppies, puts himself to sleep (more or less), likes to be down on the floor rolling around, and needs a good burp after a big feed. My other child isn't so keen on pacifiers, loves boppies, had to go through wimpy-cry-it-out, wants to be held, and spits up like a volcano even when he hasn't eaten for a couple hours. Have a sense of humor, remember they are trying to figure out how to be a person, and ... well, it's funny because I used to hate when people told me this, but it gets better. I used to want to give my boys back to ... whoever ... and thought I ruined my life but now I couldn't imagine life without them.
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