I am pregnant hear me roar.
It's nice to complain once in a while, especially on an online blog - there's only so much complaining my husband can take, especially when he can't relate to my aches and pains, hormonal fluxes and the like.
What is the deal with water? I drink at least a gallon a day and my body thirsts for more, especially my restless legs even though I eat at least one banana a day and added coconut water! Maybe I should wear a beer hat with water bottles on each side and strap a portable toilet to my butt. What a look! I try to stay away from calorie and sugar filled juices and non-caffeinated soda but enjoy a half juice, half Perrier/ginger ale cocktail once in a while. Amazing. It's refreshing, especially when others are boozing.
Speaking of water, I bet toilet paper companies love pregnant women. I peed so many times today (it's only 2:30 p.m.) I lost count. The type of urination I find most annoying is when you feel near explosion but find yourself at the porcelain throne with hardly enough fluid to fill a urine sample cup. What's up with that?
Speaking of nether regions, my tailbone hurts. With all the expanding and stretching my body is undergoing, my tailbone is sore (yes, I sit on a cushion at work). My doctor recommended a chiropractor but I fear his adjustments may hurt my babies (probably an ignorant fear). Maybe it will go away ... fingers crossed.
Moving on, if one more "well-wisher" tells me congratulations with a followup of "Twins, wow, you are going to be huge," I'm going to get myself arrested. Why would someone think that's appropriate to tell an already expanding, hormonal woman? As I type this in stretch pants and a tunic, I know I will grow larger. I've stupidly Google imaged "Twins third trimester" to see into my future. I don't need reminders from strangers.
My other favorite response is: "Twins?! That's going to be so hard." Thank you, very uplifting. Are you a motivational speaker?
Speaking of stretch pants, I would like to thank the hipster, teeny-boppers, whatever you want to call them (females younger than me who act as if they created cool), who popularized leggings as suitable clothing. They are magnificent. As for the rest of the stuff they popularized, well ... as Sweet Brown said, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
If I ever have children again I want to warn my future self -- Danger, danger Will Robinson, the smells you encounter in the first trimester when you're queasy (soaps, lotions, scented trash bags) will haunt you for the rest of your pregnancy. I switched soaps and am contemplating switching shampoo/conditioner (although, I just bought the family size containers) and face wash ... or maybe I can continue holding my breath as I wash.
Another gripe, in addition to restless legs (and one case of restless arms) I have a new wake-up-at-4-am thing occasionally going on where I struggle to fall back asleep. My mind doesn't race, there are no thoughts of tasks I didn't accomplish or a stressful day ahead. Just tossing and turning. What gives?
And last, but not least, for the past two days my nausea made its grand return. Not as significant as before but ... I thought I was past this! Insert fear of nine months of morning sickness. I expanded my meals past carrots and saltines (first trimester staples) but am not a total balls-to-the-wall pregnant lady who eats everything in sight. Some of the stuff I ate before I became pregnant still make me nauseous, especially popcorn. I don't have cravings per say but there's food I look forward to eating (I eat healthy during the week and have a cheat meal or two on the weekend) but it's basically food items I've always loved - pizza, ice cream, nachos, burritos. Although I can handle a bit more spice than before, especially with Mexican food.
My back started hurting as I typed this post but I solved this issue by unhooking my bra. Perhaps it's time I stop typing and go buy a new one!
No comments:
Post a Comment