2.5 Year Old Fraternal Twin Boys - Girl You So Cray

I am a stay-at-home mother of 2.5 year old fraternal twin boys. Well, I try not to actually stay in our home because if I did I would go insane from the evils of Cabin Fever. Well ... maybe I already suffer from a bout of insanity because it's said the insane don't recognize they are insane.
And no, I don't mean the Insanity workout the hens tweet and Facebook pictures of themselves doing, sweaty and breathless, desperately seeking confidence from outsiders so they can continue their lonely, sad existence. You exercised. Congratulations. No one cares except you and that isn't enough because you're pathetic.
Can you tell I'm a little burnt out? Little crispy, weary and worn out? Maybe I'm crazy. Like a mix of Gnarls Barkley "Crazy" and Disturbed's "Asylum" crazy - a dancing clown suppressing darkness.
Sound like mom of the year, right? I think I'm realistic, which is hard to come by among moms these days. When you think of a good mother, what comes to mind? Your mom? June Cleaver? Lois Griffin? Tommy DeVito's mom in "Goodfellas?" Beverly Sutphin in "Serial Mom?" Definitely not Margaret White in "Carrie" but you catch my drift.
My boys are happy and healthy. We joined a Monday morning playgroup, my autistic son gets therapy twice a week in a school setting (which my husband and I jumped through hoops for - therapy and the diagnosis itself), they both receive therapy through the school system for delays, when the weather is nice we go to the park, I take them to the library and grocery shopping even though they act like rabid skunks while there, we only watch "Sesame Street" when we watch TV, I feed them mostly healthy foods and milk or watered down juice, I don't spank and try not to yell, I don't cuss in front of them, they are healthy, well-fed and happy with a regular nap and bedtime schedule. They live in a reliable and warm environment. I don't shoehorn my needs before theirs like taking them to inappropriate places or making them do things they're not ready for just so I can do what I want.
So my insides are possibly blackened from delirium and I drink wine every night and don't always eat as well as I should but, at the end of the day, I'm doing my best. Isn't that what makes a good mom? Whatever your best may be, you're doing it and you're doing it well - not like fake-ass LL Cool J but like a human being.
Why can't moms be real? Why can't we say our kids can be frustrating? Why can't we say we don't enjoy most of it? I'm not having the time of my life right now. Yeah, when one of my boys reaches for me, hugs me and leans his head on my shoulder - it's one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had in my lifetime. When he won't go to sleep at bedtime and drives my husband and I crazy for 1-2 hours kicking the walls, terrorizing his brother, trying to get naked, breaking shit in his room, crying over nothing - no I don't enjoy this. I don't like changing diapers, watching motherfucking Elmo, cleaning up messes, listening to drama, taking care of two creatures who don't listen and don't respect my authority, etc. Why am I expected to like this? It's still taboo to not like your kids and express this viewpoint. Hell, it's still taboo for people to not want to have kids. It may be 2016 but the majority of people still one way or another expect you to get a job, get married and have kids (in whatever order). If you don't have kids we think you're selfish - or my husband and I are secretly jealous of you free time and lifestyle.
No I don't want to give my kids back. Yes I love them unconditionally. But why can't I say that it sucks?