Here I sit, 33-1/2 weeks pregnant with twin boys with a heating pad on my aching back and "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" on my TV screen.
I was browsing Facebook today and someone -- a stick-thin acquaintance -- shared a recipe for Hot Fudge Peanut Butter Pie complete with a picture of a gooey, luscious slice. It looked smooth, mouthwatering and delicious, getting my hormones all hot and bothered and my huge panties in a bunch. Another Facebook friend -- not so stick-thin -- shared one for Buckeye Brownies ... peanut butter, chocolate, mmm. Later, I elegantly waddled into the kitchen to prepare a bowl of plain steel cut oats and, while pouring oats from the container, spy a recipe for oatmeal cookies on the container. I'm being taunted.
I've gained weight. Yeah, a good amount of weight. Fifty pounds. There, I wrote it out. In the beginning of my pregnancy, my OB/GYN told me I should expect to gain 35-55+ but it's different when you've gained the weight than when you're thinking about the weight you will gain. Maybe I am carrying the heaviest babies known to man (somebody call Guinness!) or I've just gained a lot of weight. I'm 6' so it's not horrible and my doctor isn't worried about my weight but this is the most uncomfortable I've felt in my life and, as a girl who was 6' in sixth grade, believe me I've felt uncomfortable a lot. I feel as sexy as a bag of Russet potatoes, avoiding mirrors and cameras like I avoid unpasteurized cheeses and raw fish.
I eat pretty healthy and typically eat the same items everyday except for a couple treat meals on the weekend because Saturday is treat day in my house!
Weekday Meals
Breakfast: omelet with spinach and tomato, serving of cereal with banana and almond milk, prunes
Snack: serving of rice cakes
Lunch: serving of meat, carrots, serving of oatmeal (plain steel cut oats) even though it gives me raging heartburn
Snacks throughout afternoon: peach, apple, walnuts and raisins (raging heartburn), snack bar (sometimes all of them, sometimes not)
Dinner: serving of meat or serving of cottage cheese or yogurt, cooked vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower with a little cheese, fruit, two slices of bread with hummus or avocado
The only middle-of-the-night snack I've had is coconut water to help combat restless legs.
I think I've done pretty well. On the weekend anything goes -- like this weekend I am making homemade pumpkin bread and am interested in meals ranging from Chinese food to ... well ... I'm super pregnant so anything. Can I get an amen!? My cravings range from macaroni and cheese to iced cinnamon rolls to salads drizzled in ranch dressing to peanut butter anything. Typically these cravings stem from seeing an advertisement or restaurant and going, "Oooo, Chinese food. I want Chinese food." My poor husband has to hear these statements but, thankfully for him, his "sympathy weight" has been about 5-10 lbs. He still looks great, which makes my roly poly butt even more difficult to handle.
Pre-pregnancy I typically ate the same items during the week, minus a few snacks, and had my treats on the weekend but I made up for it by working out -- I was into running and some weight lifting: definitely not Hans and Franz from the old SNL sketch but 15 to 20 lb. weights. Now I take a swim class once a week and stretch daily but that's definitely not running three miles and pumping iron. The only thing I'm interested in pumping nowadays is a danish to my lips.
I'm looking forward to not being so large. I figure it will take a long time to take this weight off -- at least as long as it took to put on -- but I don't like looking in the mirror. Yes, I know I am carrying two babies who are healthy and growing strong. Yes, I know I don't have gestational diabetes or any complication and my doctor is OK with my weight gain but, as women, we are programmed to diet. Magazines, celebrities, the media -- they tell us to workout, eat healthy, lose weight. Now, when we're pregnant, we are supposed to be growing a human life but, a la Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson's crucifying, we worry about gaining too much weight. It's sad.
For the pregnant women who workout diligently throughout the nine months and gain a tiny amount of pounds (Princess Kate Middleton), that's fine. Good for you. However, for those of you who don't ... it's OK. It's not about your waist line, it's about the health of your child(ren). Maybe I can remember this too!
I have a C-Section scheduled for October 16 currently, unless I go into labor before and/or Baby A decides he no longer loves living the breech life. Frankly, I think the poor little man is out of room down there but I ain't no doctor. As for the C-section, it reminds me of my pregnancy pounds. All I can do is eat healthy and try my best, if the pounds add up ... I can't worry. Likewise, all I can do is motor on and if I have a vaginal delivery, fine. If I have a C-section, that's fine too. I can't worry about everything or I will lose my mind.
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