I'm 33 weeks pregnant with twins and officially hit rock bottom. No, I'm not eating Ben & Jerry's out of the carton ... although that sounds lovely. I am watching a movie, in the middle of the day, on the Lifetime Movie Network and I haven't changed the channel. Honestly, it's not that bad but, then again, it's not that great either.
I've been working from home more and more and officially spend a lot of time here so I'm trying to get used to daytime TV. I moved on from the Investigation Discovery channel because I'm having a hard enough time sleeping at night -- I couldn't fall asleep until 3 a.m. last night -- so I don't need to watch TV shows about real-life boogiemen/women. So, here I am, watching junkie mom Anne Heche and her daughter, Kristen Bell, who's trying to keep the family together. Women, tears, Lifetime.
Why is there nothing on TV during the day or am I a rube? Please, help! With twin boys coming in less than 5 weeks, I have a feeling I will be watching weird TV shows in the middle of the night and during the day while attempting to breastfeed two at once. One of my sisters recommended a Real Housewives show, I think LA or somewhere fancy, but I don't need to watch spoiled, Botoxed bimbos complain about caviar and white wine while I'm unwashed, exhausted and cleaning poop off butts. Milk is leaking out of my breasts and they're in a catfight over wearing the same outfit to a party ... I'll pass.
I still get daily e-mails from Baby Center about baby-related information, which, for the most part, are helpful but I've stopped reading baby books. I'm reading "50 Shades of Grey." Although, the book is rather corny. I am reading it because I need a distraction but also because women are in a fit over Charlie Hunnam being selected as Christian Grey so I wanted to see why the fuss. So, there's a girl who is about to graduate from college and she's never had sex and never gotten drunk ... instead she's interested in English literature yet she's beautiful but doesn't know it and a billionaire hunk is interested, like obsessed interested, in her becoming his submissive. Maybe I've got bigger fish to fry in my life or feel as sexy as a wet, brown paper bag or, like Sweet Brown, ain't got time for that but ... how stupid is that? His touch tingles her belly, deep into her sex. Give me a break. Is this what women want ... I ponder this while Baby B kicks me in the rib before getting a mean case of the hiccups.
I can't help but wonder if I would have liked this book better pre-pregnancy but have a feeling it's ridiculous no matter where I am in life. I also wonder if post partum I will ever feel sexy again.
Really, it all boils down to this: I am reading this trash because I feel overwhelmed when I read about baby stuff online. I reached my quota. Once I'm changing diapers and breastfeeding, it will be different but there's not much more I can do because I learn by doing, not by assuming. I'm not ready for babies but, hell, I'll never be ready so bring on the chaos!
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