I'm 31 weeks pregnant with twin boys and when I wake in the morning I feel as if I ran a 5K during the night (I was going to say marathon but, let's be honest, I have not, and will never, run a marathon). The soreness is worst above my knees but today my right arm wanted in on the fun!
I've had carpal tunnel for a couple weeks and it's grown worse. I purchased the beautiful braces and they worked for a time but last night nothing helped my poor right hand. Numbness, pain shooting up my arm, pain in my hand, swelling ... it was no good and continued into the day. I tried to lean my arm over the side of the bed, thinking the blood would flow into my hand but the issues weren't relieved. I tried placing my hands above my head on a pillow but that didn't do the trick either. The only comfort I've found is wrapping my hand in a heating pad -- ice packs don't help. The heating pad doesn't relieve the discomfort, especially numbness, but it helps. Couple this issue with restless legs, waking up short of breath and not being able to sleep well because I'm uncomfortable and I loathe going to bed at night. Last night I went to bed at 10 p.m. and fell asleep at 3 a.m. Yuck.
I should be grateful I'm so tall - 6' - because if I was shorter this would be worse. However, it's hard to put on a Joker grin when you feel like Humpty Dumpty. Picture a 6' tall Humpty Dumpty. Frightening. Also frightening is the slight swelling of my feet. I tried on shoes the other day - I need comfortable choices for fall/winter since last year I was wearing non-mommy shoes - and found my regular size 12 to be somewhat tight. Dear God, it's me, the size 12 shoe girl. Please, oh please, don't make my feet grow larger permanently because size 12.5 or 13 is incomprehensible. Thanks. I understand people who are 6' shouldn't be wearing size 8 shoes but come on! I can hardly find shoes as it is! I found some 12W Aerosoles on Amazon but am not thrilled.
In addition to being grateful I am tall, I am grateful my twins are healthy. My last appointment was Thursday and they were 3.7 and 3.11 lbs and healthy all around! As a baby maker, that's my worst fear - I did something to hurt them because you can't help but blame yourself for problems that arise. Thankfully they are doing well but, as my husband pointed out, they grew 1.7 and 1.6 lbs since their last checkup four weeks prior. This makes me wonder if, in four weeks at my next checkup, they'll be at a good size - not too big, not too small - because size is a stressor for women pregnant with twins. Will I make it to 38 weeks? Will they be big enough? Will they be healthy? Are they growing at a good rate and are they similar in size? Taking care of twin newborns is scary enough but newborn twins with health problems? Eek.
There are so many worries, so many problems I can Google and stress over, prenatal and postpartum. I am trying to balance myself in a place between nonchalant and high strung mama-to-be because I know stress isn't good for my boys. I've been doing OK with this by reminding myself there's nothing I can do about things like a C-section vs. vaginal or problems that could arise. I also try to do deep breathing, especially when I wake up struggling to breathe in the middle of the night (which is happening more often - it feels like stress but can be relieved with a Nalgene of water and deep breathing {I drink my water out of a Nalgene - 32 oz bottle - which helps me keep track of my drinking}). However it's hard when strangers often comment on my pregnancy and, after hearing I'm having twins, say sarcastically, "Oh wow, good luck with that!" Yeah ... thanks for the optimism.
Anyway, I'm excited to meet my babies soon, although I can hardly believe it, but am also scared!
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