Last night, I started this post on getting your twins to sleep through the night. Of course, afterwards, one of my boys awoke at 11 p.m. fussing up a storm. It reminded me babies are people: we have bad days, bad dreams and all sorts of things. So, one bad night shouldn't make me give up on the Holy Grail of Sleeping Through The Night!
My post:
If I told you my 5-month-old twins are crawling and can say "Mama," you would be jealous, right? You'd wonder what's wrong with your kid(s). Why is motherhood competitive? Well, don't worry because they can't crawl or talk but my babies can sleep through the night and have for a couple months. No, I don't mean for five hours at a time because that's crap. That's not sleeping through the night to me! That's a tease! My boys typically sleep 7 p.m. to 4 or 5 or even 6 a.m. (with the occasional 2 a.m. if there's a growth spurt afoot). No books were used, no wacky suggestions were explored ... I got to know my babies.
My oldest is typically a good baby so when I see his sleep tell (rubs his eyes) I put him down for a nap. As for his brother, I did wimpy cry-it-out for a couple months, putting him in another room in a pack 'n' play and letting him cry, only comforting him (don't pick your baby up!) every five minutes. It took time and sometimes I really, really wanted to pick up my whiny baby but I'm glad I didn't. I transitioned him to his crib when I thought he was ready and now that's where he naps. Yes, he occasionally fusses but it's usually for five minutes or less. Also, I put them down for a nap at the same time, every time.
From day one there is great concern over sleep. You sleeping, your babies sleeping, getting them to sleep more, getting them to sleep at the same time ... sleep, sleep, sleep. I read articles, blogs, asked friends, please oh please how can I get them to sleep?!? What did I learn? Every baby is different and I need to be patient.
I had my babies via C-section at 3 a.m. in the morning so I started this party with no sleep. Our hospital stay is a blur but then we ventured home and it wasn't that bad. They slept constantly, wanting to eat every 3 hours. Sometimes they woke us up to eat and sometimes we woke them -- I can still hear the sound of the alarm we used. It wasn't so terrible. I got used to this setup and that's when it changed.
They didn't sleep as much. They fussed, they whined and cried and my sleep tally diminished. My hormones dropped and I was a mess. Luckily my in-laws helped so we did Baby Roulette at night for a couple months (felt like a couple years). Baby A most likely wasn't sleeping well during this period because after 3 a.m., sometimes 2, he was trying to poop, grunting loudly. It was funny, annoying and sad all wrapped in one. His brother simply freaked out often and developed colic -- screaming for an hour or so. Every morning my in-laws would ask how my night went and I remember mumbling how I'd gotten an hour of sleep, sometimes two. Four hours of sleep in a row was Heaven on Earth.
It wasn't fun. I spent my days comforting a colicy baby and feeding, feeding, feeding. I felt like a zombie.
Around the three-month mark we (my husband and I) decided to go it solo. Days alone with my boys helped me discover who they are. I followed the saying: Sleep begets sleep. Slowly and surely they slept more during the night. Sorry if some of this is glazed over but, honestly, I blocked out the worst of it because my brain is kind.
My plan: I fill them up during the day, feeding them every three hours: formula with rice cereal (to help with reflux and spitting up) and a small amount of easy-to-digest baby food (check out Dr. Sears for a guide) and oatmeal. I don't let them stay awake more than two hours at a timebecause I find that's good for them right now. When tired Baby A rubs his eyes, Baby B gets fussy.
The hardest part about babies is there's no consistency. I know sooner than later they will change and my schedule, or attempt at a schedule, will change. I used to fear change and I am still not a fan but I need to go with the flow.
Although there's no consistency for me, babies love consistency. If you were in a strange land with strange people where everything was new ... wouldn't you want something to rely on? They are simple creatures so every night at 6 p.m. we do bath time, then a bottle with the lights turned down low and chill music on, then bedtime in their crib. Every single night. I put on their sound machine, which also has a projector, and humidifier and shut the door. They have come to rely on this and that is why they sleep more. It took some time but they've gotten the hang of this.
When I put them down for a nap and Baby B fusses I make myself do wimpy-cry-it-out because he needs to learn he is OK and will feel much better after his nap. Consistency. Every time they cry my or my husband's face is there.
So, get to know your kids and use that to build a consistent feeding and sleep schedule. Every baby is different because that's what makes them wonderful! Unique little creatures you created! Also, I hate this saying (I especially hated it about three months ago) but it gets better! It really does but it gets worse before it gets better.
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